“You gonna run and tell big brother,cher?” I ask, intentionally being a dick. “I mean since everyone has decided they know what’s best for me and everything.”
“They just care about you, Maddox. Is that so wrong?”
My eyes squeeze shut, hating the way she is looking at me. Full of sympathy and understanding when she should be pissed. Not when I left her there with my two dads and the war that I’m sure nearly ensued. Especially not when I was the only reason she was there.
“Why would you worry about me? Any of it. Especially after I ditched you the other night, and I’ve made a point to avoid you. Why do you care?”
She reaches for my hand, pulling me to sit beside her. When she crawls into my lap, I know I should make her move, but instead, I grip her tighter. Her tiny hands reach up to cup each side of my face as she presses her forehead to mine. “I know when someone is trying to push me away. I did it for too long not to recognize the signs. You say things, do things, whatever it takes to make the people who are trying so hard to love you throw their hands up and walk away. You shut down, close yourself off so they can’t see how much you’re hurting, and so you don’t have to talk about it. I’ve done all those things, so I know that’s what you’re trying to do. But I won’t let you. I care about you, and I can see you’re hurting. More than you want anyone to know. I can give you space, but there’s nothing you can do that will make me toss you aside.”
“Where the fuck did you come from, Canary?” I breathe out more to myself than her.
“I see you, Maddox. I know what pain looks like. Pain that is in here,” she presses her hand to my chest and then to my head, “and in here. I also see that goodness – the reason that Bastian is determined to help you. That your friends call day after day even when you refuse to take their phone calls.”
“You don’t know me, Quinn,” I say as I shake my head against hers as I close my eyes. “You don’t know anything about me.”
“I know I’m falling for you,” she whispers and my eyes snap open.
“Don’t say that,” I plead with her. “Just – just don’t. Don’t fall for me, Quinn. You’ll get hurt.”
She stares straight into my eyes with a fierceness that takes my breath away. “Since I was seventeen, I was with my ex-husband. I loved him with everything I had, and he completely ripped me to shreds. I know what it feels like to be hurt, Maddox. It sucks. But I would rather suffer the pain than never experience the beauty. And oh, Maddox Masters, I’ve never seen anything more beautiful than you. You have the power to demolish me, and it terrifies me. But I’m more terrified of never experiencing it.”
I want to tell her that I’m not falling because I’ve already fallen. When it happened, it wasn’t a gradual thing. I went from lust to love in a single beat of the heart, with a single note hummed when I felt like the world was crashing down on me.
But I don’t. If she knows how I feel, it will make the inevitable crash that much harder. But god fucking dammit, I can’t stop myself from having her.
I grip the back of her head, pulling her mouth to mine. I kiss her with everything in me. I may not say I love you, but I know she feels it in this kiss. I tell her as I devour her mouth like it’s my last meal. My hands slide up her legs, caressing the soft flesh as she moans against my mouth.
I grip her hips and wrap an arm around her waist as I stand. Her legs wrap around me as I carry her to my bed. Our lips never break contact. I’m a starving man in the desert, and she is my oasis.
I lay her on the bed, hovering over her delicate body as my mouth devours every inch of her sweet flesh. My hand caresses her body, relishing the feel of her soft skin as I trail my way down her ribcage, the dip in her waist, and that delicious flare of her hips.
I hook my thumbs into the waist of her shorts, pulling them down to her ankles. My eyes never leave hers as I kiss my way up one leg then the next, stopping at the juncture of her thigh. Sliding my way back up her body, I take her thin tank top, tugging it over her ahead. I lean back, admiring the work of art before me because she’s nothing short of a masterpiece.
She sits up andslides her hands under my shirt. Her nails scrape gently over my abs, causing the building fire in my belly to burn hotter. I let her remove my shirt, her mouth leaving an electric current as she kisses every inch of my chest.
I stand up to rid myself of my boots and jeans then return to her. She takes my hand, tugging me into the center of the bed. “Let me love you, Maddox. You’ve never felt it before. Not like this. Let me show you how it feels to be loved, cherished, and adored.”
I kiss her lips softly. Then her nose and eyes and forehead before pressing mine to hers. “I don’t think you ever really felt it either, have you?” I ask as I grip her neck.
Those soulful eyes meet mine, and I see the truth in them. She has been burned, bruised, and beaten, but she has a fierce, quiet strength that keeps her moving forward. She holds everything close to her chest as I do, but she wants to let go.
“Love me,cher. Show me that you mean it.”
I dip my head, taking her mouth again, and she shows me everything. I allow her to push me until I’m lying on my back. She hovers her tiny little body over mine,kissing me in places I didn’t know I liked. I never did until now. She nips gently at my neck as she presses herself against me. Just as I did to her moments ago, she makes her way down my body slowly. Too damn slow, but I let her have her way.
When she takes me in her mouth, my head falls back on a groan. She swirls her tongue around the head, stroking it in the most insanely intense way I’ve ever felt in my life. Inch by agonizing inch,she bobs that pretty little head around my decorated shaft, driving me to the brink of madness. I resist the urge to thrust into her throat, to force her to take all of me.
Sure, I did it the other day, but that was different. That was an angry, pissed-off man looking to find some type of relief. And she took my punishment so well.
The anger hasn’t subsided. The hurt and the pain still linger. But at this moment, something else builds inside of me also. Need. Not sexual need. Not the urgings of physical release. But the need for a connection, and not one built on rage and fury and misery like Ryder and me. Or the bond founded on our adolescence like Zoey and me.
I need her love. I need this strange faith she has in me despite the short time we’ve known each other. I need to see myself through her eyes.
I am a selfish, self-absorbed bastard, but the thought of hurting her crushes my soul. The weight—the burden of knowing the pain I will cause her cuts deeper than any double-edged sword. When the bough breaks, all that will remain will be the devastation I’ll no doubt leave behind.
But refusing her right now? Impossible.
Unable to take another second of the delicious deviance she delivers—and it is devious, dangerous, and downright sinful the way her sexy-as-hell mouth works me over—I grab her, dragging her up my body for a taste of the sweetness she offers. When her hot sensuality hovers over my mouth, I devour her, again, for purely selfish reasons. The taste of her arousal melting on my tongue and the sounds of her little moans are more powerful than any other pleasure I’ve ever experienced. She’s the best drug.
