“Not that damn worried. Not if they can watch you suffer.”
Irritation fills me. Bryan is my oldest friend. We’ve known each other since we were small children. He knows all my secrets. Not because I trust him more than Ryder or anyone else. That could never be it.
I never wanted Ryder or anyone else to know the things I’ve done. I don’t know if they’d be able to look at me the same if they knew. I couldn’t take a chance that they would hate me. I definitely couldn’t handle the inevitable looks of disappointment.
Bryan doesn’t care about any of that. And he’s been my accomplice for quite a few of my crimes. Hell, a couple had been his idea. So I don’t worry that I’ll let him down.
But he doesn’t understand my relationship with my friends—my brothers. He’s never understood my relationship with Ryder, tryingto get me to cut ties with him on many occasions. I couldn’t do it. Ryder needed me, and I needed him.
Sometimes I think that Bryan may be jealous of my friends. That I have people in my life that care about me. That I care about. Not saying I don’t care about Bryan. I do. But our relationship is different. He’s not a fair-weather friend. He’s the devil on my shoulder. He instigates and encourages bad decisions. Probably a sign I should have cut ties withhimlong ago. It’s not that easy to say goodbye to someone you’ve known most of your life. Besides, until recently, he would vanish for months at a time without a word.
“They’re willing to watch me suffer a little now to save my life. That’s how they see it anyway.”
“They’re killing you. They just want you out of their hair. You know that.”
“Shut up!” I hate when he does this—always trying to convince me that my friends don’t care. It’s his jealousy. I know this, and it’s why I put up with his crap. “Just get here.”
“I’ll be there in five minutes.”
I hear a car start in the background. “You’re that close?”
“I’ve been following you since you left Sebastian Delrie’s house.”
I sit up quickly, trying to remember anyone following me. There couldn’t have been. No one would’ve been able to keep up at those speeds.
I suppose he had to have been there, but what does that say about me? That I’ve been so lost in the noise that I didn’t notice. Does that mean that Bastian could be close behind?
He could be here any minute. Then he’ll drag me back to River City where I’ll continue to disappoint them all. Where I’ll have to seeher. I can’t handle the pain I put in her eyes. More than that, I can’t handle the pain I’ve put in my heart.
A knock at the door makes me jump. I sit on the bed, staring at the door like a bomb is sitting on the other side.
“Maddox, open the damn door,” Bryan calls out.
I drop my head, frustrated with myself. My paranoia is escalating for no damn reason. I’m not afraid of Bastian. I’m not even afraid of going back to River City. I just don’t want to.
I open the door to a scowling face. “What’s wrong with you?” he hisses. “I told you I’d be here in five minutes.”
I run my hand through my hair, shaking my head. “The usual,” I admit. “Worse than usual, I think.”
“I got just what you need to remedy that.” He taps the pocket of his leather jacket.
“I need it.” I do. The hit from earlier wore off much quicker than it usually does. It wasn’t the greatest stuff, but it did the job for a minute.
He nods, pulling the package out of his pocket. He hands it to me tauntingly. “What’s in it for me if I give this to you?”
“I won’t beat your ass,” I tell him with gritted teeth. “Like I did when we were kids.” I gesture to his crooked nose, the reminder that I’m not playing games.
He tosses the package to me with a scowl. I swipe it out of the air and quickly move to the table. I pull out the drugs and all the equipment I need to get my fix.
“Need help with that?” I look up from the table to see him sprawled on my bed, arms tucked behind his head, watching me.
I raise a brow. He knows how I feel about shoes on the bed. I bite my tongue to stop from saying something. He catches the glare with a roll of his eyes. “You’re such a damn spaz. Are you ever going to stop with the crazy shit?”
“Why is it crazy that I don’t want your dirty boots on the bed?”
“Whatever.” He sits up and removes his boots. I twitch to see them scattered across the floor but let it go.
He watches me intently with a wicked smirk while I do my thing. Five minutes later, I can breathe. “Better?” He grins, showing all his crooked teeth.
