“Yeah,” I mumble. “Right.”
“Hey,” he tilts my head up so I’m looking at him. “Just the flu, right? Why do you look so freaked out?”
The daze I’m in falls away with those words. I squeeze my eyes shut, fighting back the tears. “We, uh, we need to talk,” I tell him quietly.
He leans back giving me a confused look. “Okay, but maybe it should wait until you’re feeling better.”
“No,” I shake my head. “No. It can’t wait.”
“What’s wrong?” His eyes jump back and forth between mine, worry turning them darker.
“I – I’m sorry,” I start to cry. “I didn’t mean to.”
“You didn’t mean to what?” he growls, his grip on my face getting tighter.
I know I’m messing this all up. His mind probably just went to all the wrong places. I’ve got to spit it out before he loses it.
“I’m pregnant,” I whisper.
He starts laughing for a minute, until he sees the tears in my eyes. “Bloody hell, you’re fucking serious, aren’t you?”
When I nod, he drops his hands, taking a step back. He drags a hand over his mouth as all the color drains from his face.
“Ryder, I –” I take a step forward, but he holds up a finger.
“I need a minute.”
“Ryder, I’m sorry. I –”
“I said I need a minute, Heaven. Give me a goddamn minute,” he yells.
The tears I’ve been holding back begin to fall. “Okay.”
“Maddox, take her back to her dorm for me,” he calls out over his shoulder.
“Ryder,” Maddox’s tone is low, warning. “Don’t.”
“Don’t what?” he yells. “I just need a fucking minute. Everyone give me a minute. Is that too much to fucking ask right now?” He turns, walking toward the exit, hitting the vending machine on his way out.
Maddox pulls me into his arms, stroking my back. “He’ll be okay, cupcake. He just needs time to process.”
I nod into his chest as a sob falls out of my mouth. “I didn’t mean to.”
“It takes two, Heaven. He knows that. He’ll be okay. I promise.”
He leads me to his car with an arm wrapped around me. We ride in silence all the way to my dorm. Then he walks me up. He doesn’t leave until I’m changed and tucked into bed.
The rest of the night, I fall in and out of sleep. My head is a mess, and I need to talk to Ryder. But I understand what Maddox said. I even understand Ryder walking away to process.
I expected the anger. I expected it because this wasn’tplanned or prepared for. Ryder knows he can’t control everyone and everything around him, but he tries to control all aspects of his life. This has thrown him for a loop.
My phone buzzes beside my bed. I grab it, seeing a message from him. My breath catches in my throat.
Ryder: I’m not angry with you and I don’t blame you. I’m a little angry with myself though. I just need a little while to wrap my head around everything, so I don’t say or do anything I’ll regret.
I blow out a breath as a tiny bit of the pressure in my chest eases, but I don’t know what to say.
Heaven: I understand.
