For a second, I freeze. My heart begins to hammer in mychest,and it has nothing to do with all of the blood running south. I grip her hips tighter, keeping her firmly in place as panic begins to wash through me.
I give myself a mental shake. I’m not in love. I care about her, yes. She is special to me, but it’s not love. It’s just the hormones and pheromones in the air mixed with the fact that all the blood has left my brain.
I move a hand from her hip, slowly stroking her skin until I reach her clit. With my thumb, I begin to rub slow circles until she throws her head back with a moan. She begins to rock back and over, her tight core gripping me like a glove custom made for only me.
I run my hand up her spine and back down, enjoying the feel of her soft skin under my hand. My eyes are focused on her and her alone as she takes her pleasure from me. Her skin is red and flushed. Sweat runs from her hairline down her temples to her chin, dripping slowly to her chest.
I sit up and lean her back slightly. I run my tongue between her breasts, chasing that droplet of moisture. I continue my path up her neck, over her chin, until our lips meet. Our tongues tangle as our bodies rock into each other. She moans and murmurs my name over and over.
Finally, I snap.
In one move, our positions are changed. I grip her thigh, raising it over my hip with one hand while gripping her hands in the other. I thrust long, deep, and hard, making her cry out. Again and again, I pound into her, knowing I’m wreaking havoc on her inexperienced body, but her sounds of pleasure spur me on. Our chests rise and fall rapidly and sweat drenches our hair.
I watch as her face morphs, constantly changing from one of pain to one of pleasure and back again. Her walls begin to pulse around my throbbing cock like a heartbeat. Her back arches and a soundless scream falls from her open mouth. Fire erupts in my belly. My balls tighten painfully. Then I freefall over the edge.
But my eyes never leave her face. Her cheeks are the color of roses. Her eyes are hazy with bliss. She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
That same strange, foreign feeling settles in my chest, causing it to tighten. My heart begins to jackhammer at lightspeed.
Run. That’s what my head is screaming at me right now. Run fast and run far. Don’t look back.
The way she’s looking at me, though, it holds me in place. It’s soft and happy. Peaceful.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I am so fucking fucked.
I drop my head to hers with a sigh. I won’t acknowledge what this is. I won’t admit it. But one thing is undeniable. “I’m handing you my heart, pixie. Don’t break it. It can’t take any more damage.”
She brings my lips to hers with a content sigh. “I’ll never break your heart, Ryder.”
My eyes close as I pray those words to be true.
Heaven
What a Time
Days turned to weeks. Weeks into months. I didn’t regret for a second giving Ryder a chance. He proved every day how much he cared for me. The only time we weren’t together was when we were working or at school.
He surprised me often with a softness that I knew was reserved just for me. He still had no filter. He would never hold anything back. But if he was having a bad day or was angry, he tried to choose his words more carefully. He would take the time to tell me quickly that he wasn’t in the best of moods, then steer clear. I still hoped for the day when, instead of avoiding me or lashing out, he’d talk to me.
One night, lying in bed I asked if he would ever tell me about his family. I figured he and his mother probably didn’t agree on some of his choices. Ryder being Ryder wasn’t the type to take any form of criticism well. He didn’t like being told what to do.
When he said no, it stung. I had no idea what the problem could be, and it hurt he wouldn’t tell me. He told me it was because it wasn’t relevant to our relationship, but I still wanted to know. I wanted to know everything about him.
I was in love. I loved every part of him. The brooding, hot-tempered man that would unleash holy hell at the drop of a hat and the thoughtful, kind man that showed me how much he cared, even if he couldn’t say it.
His declaration the first night we were together shook me to my core. He was a whirlwind that night, shifting from dominant and aggressive to sweet and gentle every few seconds. Everything he was fighting was clear in his eyes. I didn’t want him to struggle. I wanted him to give in to me, wholly and completely. But I didn’t push. Pushing him would only push him away. But when he told me to be careful with his heart, the raw emotion in his voice and pleading in his eyes made me decideat once, I would never break this beautiful man’s heart.
I also know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Ryder Jamison has absolutely ruined me for any other man. I have nothing to compare him to, but I don’t need it. No one would ever be able to play my body the way he has. Things I never in a million years thought would appeal to me set me on fire like throwing a match on a field of corn after ayearlongdrought.
The seasons have changed with the months that have passed. The brutal winter finally gave way to spring. Just before Jake and my graduation in June, we traveled with Maddox to Louisiana so he could watch a friend of his graduate. It was all very covert the way we slipped into town. We snuck in with him and sat in the shadows for the ceremony. I wondered the whole time who he was there for and why the cloak and dagger behavior.
My curiosity increased when we walked past a guy covered in tattoos with intense eyes who told him to make the visit quick. The way he said it felt like a warning, not a threat, which was even stranger given his very intimidating demeanor.
Later, we sat in the car across the street from a huge house on a lake while he went in search of this friend. I asked Ryder questions, and he explained that this was the girl that got away. I watched him as he interacted with the girl, looking absolutely dejected.
When two guys came out and interrupted their conversation, I had to hang on to Ryder to stop him from jumping from the car. My attempts to keep him contained failed when the dark-haired guy began hitting Maddox. Fortunately, the girl got between them all before Ryder made it across the street.
