A few minutes later, we’re on stage setting up with our stuff. “Hey everyone,” Maddox says into the microphone as he adjusts his guitar over his head. “Lucky thought it would be safer for everyone if we didn’t start football wars tonight.” A few groans and laughs fill the space. Most don’t even acknowledge us. “So, instead of the game, we’re going to play for you.”
He looks at me and I nod. Dane taps his sticks for the count off as I inhale deeply, allowing the weight of the guitar in my hands to ease some of the tension in my body. I begin the first bars of Man in the Box with a twist Maddox and I worked into it. The chatting settles down as the audience begins to really notice us. We shift from nineties grunge to Uprising by Muse.
As my fingers roll across the strings of my PRS, my mind begins to clear of the haze from the last several days. I let the melody and notes consume me, take over my mind and body. I close my eyes and feel it weave around me like a blanket. Onthe next song, my fingers fly as we start playing Guns N’ Roses. I love playing their music. Slash has always been one of my favorite guitarists.
Song after song, I can think a little more clearly until I think I’ve developed a plan to deal with Heaven. I’m going to her when we’re finished here. I’m done letting her think about it. I’m not going to give her thechoiceto decide. I’ll make her forgive me and listen. She doesn’t get a choice in this. The final notes of I Will Not Bow help fuel me even more.
When we’re done, I yank the guitar over my head, quickly returning it to the case at lightning speed. “Where’s the fire?” Dane asks me with a grin.
“It’s about to be lit.” I look over to him with a smirk on my face that I know spells trouble.
He shakes his head with a laugh, but Maddox looks a little worried. “I don’t think you should go over there making demands, Ryder. It’s going to blow up in your face.”
“I don’t do well in unknowns. You know that,” I grunt. I swear since the day I saw that girl my vocabulary has become more grunts and growls than actual words.
“I also know you like to demand. That won’t work with this—with her. You can’t control her either.” I turn to see his face scrunched with worry and guilt. I almost sigh because I know if this blows up in my face or doesn’t go well, Maddox will find some way to blame himself. For not tying me up and stopping me.
“I know I can’t control her, but I’m not going to tiptoe around it. I’m tired of waiting for an answer. I need that much at least.”
“And if she tells you to kiss her ass?” Dane takesanalmost protective stance. I press my lips together as a bitterness fills my stomach.
“If she tells me to kiss her ass,” I move closer to him, mirroring his posture so he knows I’m not intimidated, “then I need to step up my game because I’m clearly not doing something right.”
“Ryder, I know we haven’t known each other long, but I know enough to know, you don’t chase ass. You don’t let people in. Just watch yourself, okay?”
A knot swells in my throat. He wasn’t protecting Heaven. He was protecting me. All I can do is nod in understanding and acceptance— or as close to acceptance as I can get because I don’t trust my voice.
“Be careful, Ry,” Maddox calls out as I head for the back parking where I left my car. I wave over my shoulder without looking back.
I drive over to the diner as quickly as I can. Which isn’t nearly fast enough. I swear the traffic gods are plotting against me. I get stuck behind a traffic accident, catch every light in New York City, and manage to get behind some weird tailgating party. What should have taken twenty minutes max, takes me an hour. The upside to that is that it’s nearly time for her shift to end when I finally get there, so I won’t have to wait long.
I park on the curb across from the diner. I pull out my phone to check for any messages from her since I left the bar. I know I won’t find any. If she were talking to me, I wouldn’t be parked across from her work like a stalker.
The lights start shutting off one by one. I watch as a few of the employees begin to exit. When Heaven isn’t one of them, a twinge of panic settles in my gut. I know she should be here. I have her schedule memorized.
Strictly for Maddox, of course. He gets worried, and when he’s worried, he’s cranky. It is my job as his best friend to ease his mind.
When the sign is flipped to close and Arnold walks out without Heaven, I’m out of the car. Horns blare and tires screech, expletives are yelled and fingers are thrown (mainly by me) as I run through the street to get to the man before he rounds the corner. “Arnold,” I call out, surprised at how fast the sixty-something year old man moves.
He turns around, eyeing me with a little more than irritation in his eyes. “Need something?” he asks, crossing his arms over his chest. Either he’s annoyed that I’ve interrupted him, or Heaven has told him I was an ass. If I had to guess, it would be the latter. I don’t really care what he thinks of me, but it might make it difficult to get information out of him.
“Heaven didn’t come out. Did she leave early?” May as well get to the point given the daggers he’s shooting me.
“Heaven hasn’t been here in days.” He all but growls the statement. Like somehow, it’s my fault she hasn’t showed.
But my brain latches onto what he says instead of the attitude he’s putting behind the words. “Why hasn’t she been here?”
“Don’t know. Her friend called in a few days ago and said she wouldn’t be in. Didn’t give a reason or even if she was coming back. If she’s not back by Friday, I won’t have a choice but to replace her. So, if you see her, be sure you tell her that.”
Panic swells in my chest like a balloon about to burst. The feeling of the unknown, of not knowing why Heaven wouldn’t show up for work causes my mouth to dry. My chest heaves.
I settle back into my car, shoving the icy tendrils of fear down, and let the flames of anger lap at the edges, instead. If she’s sick, she could’ve called. I would’ve helped her. Or at least not sat around wondering what the problem is.
But if she were just sick, then why is she not returning my calls or texts. Is it something serious? Has something else happened? Why did she have Heidi call in to work for her?
I throw the car into drive and pull into traffic, earning more horns and tire screeches. Before this night is over, I may have every driver in the city out for my blood. At this second, I don’t care. My only focus is getting to her place, making sure she’s okay, and then demanding she givemean answer. Sick or not, it better be the right one, or I will resort to drastic measures. Like spanking that cute ass until she tells me what I want to hear.
I break nearly every traffic law to get to her dorm. I barely miss sideswiping the cars on either side of me as I park in front of her dorm. The doors to her building are locked.
