A knock on the door hasme running. I sling the door open, praying it’sCara on the other side. I instantly deflate when I see Ryder’s extremely irritated face.
“I’m staying here. You’re going to my room,” he grumbles.
“Why?” I ask, hoping Maddox has found her.
“Because apparently you messed up and she won’t come here.”
Relief whooshes from my chest on a breath. Then worry about what comes next sets in. I can fix this. I just hope she’ll let me.
Idon’t even knock on the door. Maddox already had it open when I get to his room. Like he’s waiting on me.
“Don’t mess this up, or I’ll be rearranging your face,” he warns as he walks out, leaving me to clean up my mess
I walk in to see her curled on the sofa. Her eyes and nose are red from crying. I hate myself for being the cause.
Shefeels me before she sees me. Just like I always do with her.
She turns to look at me. The look in her eyes makes me think every wall I’ve knocked down has beenrebuilt and fortified.“Go away.” Her voice is hard and cold.
“I’m not leaving.Not until you hear me out. Until I apologize. I didn’t mean what I said. Iwas worried, and I’ve been stressed, and I took it out on you.” I take two steps, but so does she.I can see how badly I’ve hurt her. She’s trying to hide it, but it’s clearly written in her eyes.
“No. It’s fine.” She wraps her arms around her middle like she’s holding herself together. Pain wraps around my heart, squeezing my lungs because I did this.“I knewit would happen sooner than later. That you’d realize I was bad for her. That I’m too much for youto deal with. It’s fine. It really is, but please just go. Leave me alone. Tomorrow you won’t have to worry about me anymore.”
My entire body goes rigid.Glaciersform in the pit of my stomach as her words piece through my soul.
I watch her walk to the kitchen, turning her back to me. The last thing she said finally hits me.“What do you mean I won’t have to worry about you tomorrow?”
“If you don’t trust me with Lyra, then I shouldn’t be here. I’m going home. Liam will find you a new nanny before my plane even takes off, so don’t worry about that.”
I’m across the room in three long strides. I turn her around to face me by her shoulders. “You’re not leaving.You said you wouldn’t leave, and I’m not letting you go.”
The look in her eyes shakes me to my core.“I can’t stay. I was here to do a job, and you’re not satisfied with that job.”
“Fucking hell, Cara, stop,” I yell, making her flinch. “Just stop. You can’t do this every time something doesn’t go perfectly. You can’t runevery time I say something stupid or you get hurt.”
“I’m not running,” she yells back. “You said you didn’t want me anymore.”
“When the hell did you hear me say that?I never said that. You’re always ready to take off. You’re always ready to shut down.Aren’t you tired of it yet? Aren’t you tired of maintaining these walls? At keeping everyone close but not too close?”
Tears fill her eyes. I see her beginning to crumble. “I’m just the nanny, Jake,” she whispers.
“You were never the nanny. You’ve always been more. You’ve always been everything.” I don’t give her a chance to respond. I don’tallow herto deny what I’ve just said. To process it, analyze it, and let her demons convince her it’s not true.
I pull her into my chest, slanting my mouth over hersin a hard kiss.For several seconds, I’m kissing her like I might die if I don’t, and she doesn’t respond.She is like a stone in my arms, but I’m not relenting. I slide my tongue across the seam of her mouth then nip at her bottom lip.When shegasps, my tongue finds her. Her hands move to my chest. I know sheis going to push me away, but she doesn’t. Instead, she’s gripping at my shirtlike a lifeline. I tug her hair to make her head fall back, giving medeeper access to that beautiful mouth. She moans as her fingers move from my chest tomy hair.
She can never seem to hear my words. Not the ones I want her to hear anyway. Her brain only fixates on thevoices that tell her she’s too broke and too damaged. On the guilt that tells her, she doesn’t deserve to be happy.On the pain that won’t let go.
But I know she feels it. When I kiss her, touch her, she feels it all. The intensity of my love. The unconditional, unwavering affection that flows from me to her. The need and want and desire to consume. She feels it, and she returns it.
I move my mouth to her jaw,kissing and nipping lower. My hands glide downher body to the curve of her ass. My fingers dig into the rounded fleshas I bite the soft flesh of her neck.I lift her up. Her legs automatically wrap around mine. Her hot heat sears through the fabric of my jeans.
I walk us to the sofa, laying her down on the plush fabric. I push the hem of her dress up until it’s bunched around her waist, my handsgliding between her thighs to the hot center that is slick with arousal.Her moans spur me to continue as I bite a pebbled nipple through her dress.
“Jake,” she mutters, “I need you.” Her pleas sound nearly as desperate as I feel. Her bodyreacting my mine, mine to hers, is explosive as a Molotov and inevitable as the sun holding theearth in place.Because her mind can war with her feelings and thoughts all day long, her body, however, can’t deny what her heart feels.“I need you now.”
I release myself from the confines of my jeans. I don’t even bother to remove the little thong she is wearing. I pull it to the sideand slide home. Because that’s what she is. She’s home.
Her heels dig into me as I press into her.Our bodies move together with need and hunger,and ferocity. Each of us chasing euphoria and wanting to prolong it all at the same time.
