“It is a big deal. You didn’t deserve that.”
“Okay. It’s over. Let’s just drop it.” Istart to squirm because we are getting awfully close to talking about it.
“If you ever need to talk, Cara, I’m here,” he whispers.
I feel my entire body heat. I hate the way I’m jumpy and scared when I say I’m not. When I say I’m fine.I hate the nightmares and flashbacks that paralyze me. But more than any of that, I hate thatJake has seen me, three times now, at my most vulnerable.
“You’re not weak,” he tells me. My eyes snap to his, wondering how he could possibly know what I’m thinking. “You’ve always worn your heart on your sleeve.”
Unreasonable anger surfaces. “How could you possibly know that? You don’t know me. We’renot even friends. I’m just your friend’s little sister.”
Hurt flashes for a second,but it’s quickly gone. In its place is arock-hard façade.I immediately regret being a bitch. I hate my occasional volatility more than anything.“I’m sorry, Jake.”
“It’s fine,” he tells me as he moves off the bed.
“I really am sorry,” I grab his hand.Sparks ripple and flames slash across my skin.It takes every effort not to pull away.
His eyes drop toour joined hands. A smirk plays on his lips, briefly. “Itreally is fine, Cara, but for the record? I know you better than you think I do.You won’t let me say it, but you’re not stupid. Got newsfor you. I know you feel it too.”
He leaves the bunk without giving me a chance to deny anything.
I sit there for the rest of the ride. I don’t even leave the bunk for something to drink or eat. I sit there like a cowardbecause I don’t want to deal with how he does or doesn’t feel. I damn sure don’t want to deal with how I feel. I know if I ignore it long enough that this tour will be over. Then we’ll be back home, and I won’t have to see him every day.
Because that’s all this is. It’s just proximity. Forced proximity. Okay, maybe not forced exactly since I volunteered for this, but that was before I found myself ridiculously attracted to him.
Except I’ve always been attracted to him. It just wasn’t something I had to face every day.
A few hours later, the bus stops. We’re in Kyiv, Ukraine, for the UPark Festival, but they aren’t playing until tomorrow night. Everyone has the night off. Which means Jake has nowhere to go.
I can’t stay stuck on this small bus with him any longer. Iam suffocating. Suffocating because all I can think about is what he keeps saying. Little things that seem like big things. I think about this crazy chemistry – explosive chemistry we seem to have.I think about the way my body reacts when he’s anywhere near me. I think about how good his mouth felt on my mouth. On my breasts.
Nope. Don’t want it.
Before the engine is off, I am opening the door and running as fast as my feet will carry me, telling him I’m going for a walk as I leave.
“Cara, wait,” he calls out, but I pretend I don’t hear him.
I make a beeline for Dane’s bus. Then I remember the looks shared between him and Jakeand think better of it. I want girl time, but I won’t get that with him and Angel on the bus.
I change directions, going to Maddox and Ryder instead. I’ve always been able to go to them with anything.Even if they like to embarrass me a bit. And they will let me just hang around without expecting me to talk if I don’t want to.
I don’t even knock. I just open the door, darting in breathlessly. I am completelyaware that I look slightly unhinged. I feel it too.
Liam and Henry’s eyes snap to me from the captain chairs they sit in with beers and video game controllers, taking in my disheveled appearance. I completely forgot Henry was on this bus too.
His brow creases with worry. “Everything okay, kid?”
“Fine,” I snap, my anxiety growing bythe second. “I need Maddox and Ryder.”
“They’re in the back lounge.” Liam nods toward the back of the bus, confusion marring his face.
I start that way,then pause. “What are they doing?” I ask cautiously. I learned my lesson about walking in on those two without asking questions a long time ago. Too bad they’ve never figured out what locks on doors are for.
“I don’t know,” Liam chuckles. “What do you think they’re doing?”
My brows raise, wondering if he really needs me to spell it out.
“There are no girls on the bus, Cara,” he laughs again.
