My chest tightens not knowing what he’s about to say, but fearing the worst.We’ve had our fun and now after his job is done, he’ll be on his way.
His eyes meet mine.“I have never been the relationship man, the one looking for someone to settle down and have babies with.I’ve been more of a ship passing in the night, a little fun and keep moving type of guy.We were never in one place more than a short while when in the service, so it made that lifestyle seem normal.”
The tears burn behind my eyes, but I swear on everything holy, I will not cry.Not one little drop.I wanted this no matter what, and at least he’s being honest and not stringing me along.He’s been nothing but decent and kind.And it’s not his fault that he’s just not the relationship type.Hell, before I met him, I didn’t think I was either.But somehow, that all changed while being protected by this guy.
His finger to the tip of my chin draws my face to meet his eyes.“Darling, you didn’t let me finish and you’ve misread the signals.”
13
Beckett
Her glossy eyes cause my chest to expand with a feeling I’m not accustomed to.I’ve taken care of a lot of ladies in sticky situations, protected them from many things, but not one of them has gotten under my skin like the little blue-eyed blonde.
I kiss her lips, and towel dry the rest of her body, totally unaccustomed to being taken care of like that.I do the taking care of, yet I can’t deny the intimacy of her drying me has sealed itself into my heart, just like the little darling herself.But still the thought of what happened years ago causes my chest to tighten with angst.Some scars simply will not heal.
“Just because I haven’t done relationships doesn’t mean I’m not interested.It’s just new.”That’s the truth, but I can’t bring myself to tell her about what happened before or to commit to anything more.At least not yet.But she’s the only woman that’s ever made the thought cross my mind.
“Get dressed, darling.We’ll head to Wild Deuces and grab something to eat there while we catch up.Hopefully they’ve been able to get some information from Eldridge.Then we can come back and talk some more.”
Her eyes tell me everything she doesn’t though.She regrets letting herself go, regrets the moments in my arms, and is looking for far more than I can give.A man who moves around from place to place, going wherever there is a need has nothing to offer a woman like Jules.Because for her, I would want to give her everything.For her, I’d build a white picket fence.
But I get the sense she just wants me to take her far away from all of this.Both ride out of here on a white horse?And to what?Moving from town to town, wherever trouble goes?That’s my life, and it’s no place for her to be.
Jules walks out of the bathroom, and I let her go.Jules needs space and time to process everything that’s happened recently.Her emotions have to be all over the place and for one second, I let myself regret taking her at all.But that feeling is short lived.Even if just a short memory in the future, it will be the best one I’ve ever had.
The minute we reach Wild Deuces, Kenny and the guys wave to me from the back, and she catches sight of her friends talking with Lettie at the bar.“I’m going to join the ladies.Is that okay?”She’s not being sarcastic in the slightest.Jules has seen first-hand just how dangerous these men can be and is trusting me to take care of her.
“It’s fine.I’ll be watching,” I tell her, giving a nod to Jay, Matt, Damian and Dereck who are sitting at different tables not too far away.“We’re in good hands, and my eyes won’t be off you.”
Leaving her at the bar, knowing how she feels, still reeling from the silent treatment of the ten-minute drive is hard to do.I should have said more, but hindsight is twenty-twenty and right now, there’s work to be done.
I make my way through the throng of tables scattered throughout the establishment to a seat at the back table next to Garrett.“How is the intel going?”
He shrugs and takes a sip of soda.“Lots going on.Jay and Matt said Tommy and his men got some information from Eldridge.It corroborates what we learned before about the Chicago Crime Family sending others, but we don’t yet know how many for sure.But you were right, our inside man confirmed that after you sent the first one to jail, the Chicago boys sent more guys and they’re on their way.”
“How are we in terms of manpower if they send an army?”
“Well, my friend, if they send an army, we’re screwed, and if they don’t, we’re going to shut them down before they make it through the front door.”
Lettie arrives with a huge laden platter of nachos piled high with beef, onions, olives, cheese, sour cream and guacamole.“Now that looks delicious,” I tell her, taking all the little plates from the tray for her and passing them around.
She puts the platter in the center of the table, fills our water glasses, and gets her pen and pad of paper out.“What else will you have to drink, Beckett?”
We all know these men are either already here or will be soon and not one of us including me wants to be off our game.“Dr.Pepper, please.”
“I thought maybe you might want a glass of milk to cry over.”
My eyes meet the kindly older lady’s, who looks a little harder at me now.“Come again?”
“Jules is one of the nicest women I know.You leave her behind and you’re going to be crying in your milk for the longest of times.The chemistry between the two of you can be felt by everyone around.You’re a damn fool if you let whatever is bothering you get between the two of you.”
Clearly, she talks to her friends but doesn’t say a word to me.I probably deserve that in all fairness.I’m not accustomed to airing my laundry in public, especially intimate stuff, but I also don’t want my friends or hers to think I treated her like a piece because that’s simply not the case.No matter how this ends, she is much more than that to me and I’m not afraid to say so either.
I meet the eyes of the kindly lady.“Jules is special.Too special to be following me around the countryside, chasing every bad guy that comes out of the woodwork.She deserves someone who can give her a house, that white picket fence, and babies if that’s what she wants.Security, maybe it’s old fashioned these days, but it’s important to me.I don’t want her to miss out on that.”
Lettie’s eyes narrow, and she places a hand on my shoulder.“Honey, Jules isn’t looking to follow you out of town.She wants you to stay, to put roots down here.”She gestures to the rest of the guys.“You’d have some pretty good company if I do say so myself.”
I smirk at the matchmaker who’s been in my business since the moment I stepped into this club.“Oh, yeah.You think the Larussios are just going to add yet another guard to the town.And what about Marla?I thought you had the two of us pegged for a couple?”
