A need to see that blood again, but in a different context.
One from pleasure rather than pain.
Block it out.
You helped her. You brought her back to the church.
"Fuck."
I grab my phone, hating myself for what I’m about to do. Regretfully, I open social media, narrowing my search to Idlewood, and type her name into the search bar.
It doesn’t take long to find her. I scroll through her page, seconds turning into minutes and want turn into need.
By the time I turned my phone off, only one name consumed my thoughts.
Eden Faulkner.
There's no harm in knowing her name... Right?
Philippians 4:19 (NKJV) “And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”
Chapter 14
Eden
The strong smell of a roaring fire hits us in a cloud of smoke, forcing both Aiden and me to cough. The scent of weed and oak mixes in the air, the smoke dense and suffocating as it seems to follow us. Aiden hadn’t pressed me further on what was going on between Father Briar and me, and our drive here was mostly quiet.
The mountains swallow the sun, casting the sky in rich, fading colors. I hitch my bag higher on my shoulder, wondering why I even bothered to bring a swimsuit. The chance of me letting anyone see my body is slim.
But I’d let Roman see my body. I’d let him do a lot more than just see it.
I push thoughts of Roman away as we reach The Overlook. A group of five is gathered around the fire. Someone strums on a guitar as the others chat idly. Seeing Zack’s piece of shit car parked by the others, I shove down the nerves threatening to surface.
The fear I saw in Zack when I walked into the cathedral was both alarming and satisfying. But now, it feels like I have a target on my back after what Roman did to him.
Aiden suddenly stops and grabs my hand before the others notice us, his eyes scanning me with concern. “Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened at the cathedral? Was Zack there? Did he say something to you?”
"No, nothing happened," I smile, hoping that it’s convincing enough to get him to move on. "Spending time at the church feels like torture," I admit, not entirely lying.
Time alone with Roman is torture.
Torturous how much I want him to explore my body.
Exploring whatever is happening with Roman any further leads nowhere good. When I’m with him, it feels like I’m on top of the world, flirting with danger. But the moment I’m away, it all comes crashing down, leaving me alone with my vicious thoughts.
"We can come up with an excuse so you can skip your service hours," He suggests, smiling, trying to help with the little he knows.
"I appreciate it, Aiden," I reply, squeezing his hand. "But I’d rather Dad focus on what I’m doing right than what I’m doing wrong."
Aiden frowns, clearly displeased. "The last thing Dad deserves is for either of us to care about what he wants.” He shakes his head, turning away from me as a familiar voice calls out to us,
"Aiden, Eden!" Zoey calls out, her dark curls bouncing as she waves us over, clutching a drink in one hand.
Luca stops strumming his guitar and looks our way, his eyes meeting mine with a smile, stirring a warmth in my chest.
This is someone I should be focused on.
This is someone safe.
