My face falls. For a man who has trackers and cameras on her and has become a veritable expert in her moods over the last couple of months, this was clearly a massive blind spot. But now I see exactly how stupid it was of me not to prepare her to run into some of my past partners.
All I can manage to say is, “Yes.”
There is no other excuse I can give her. There are dozens of women we could have run into tonight, and it was beyond irresponsible of me not to have warned her about them. I’m older and more experienced, and she was a virgin last week,for Christ’s sake.Fuck.I was just so excited to come with her tonight. She plasters a fake smile on her face and meets my very concerned eyes. “Okay! Good to know!” she says, sounding slightly manic. “Let's go to the bar!”
“Are you sure? You seem…”
“No! Let’s go hang out with all your sex club friends. We can even play a little game. I can point at random women, and you can tell me if you’ve put your dick in them or not,” she says before stomping off toward the bar.
I follow after her, trying not to cause a scene. When I reach her, she’s sitting on a high-top chair, facing the dance floor, and slurping down a shot of something clear. “Sloane, baby,” I say, placing my hands around her waist.
She wiggles out of my grip and looks out at the dance floor. “So,baby, how many of the women here tonight have you fucked?” she asks before pointing out each woman individually.
When I refuse to indulge her, she huffs and practically runs to the dance floor.
My beautiful girl instantly gains the attention of every man in the crowd. I watch as a guy who looks to be in his mid-twenties approaches her. To my displeasure, she allows him to wrap his arms around her and starts moving with him to the beat of the song.
The moment I remember she’s wearing crotchless panties, I forget about not causing a scene and march toward the asshole holding my girl.
“Get your fucking hands off her if you want to keep them,” I growl as I rip her arms from around his neck and pull her from the dance floor.
“What are you doing? Let me go!” Sloane screams, struggling against my grip.
As soon as we are clear of the crowd, I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. She kicks and screams the whole way to the car, but I don’t say a word until we’re both buckled in.
“What the hell was that?” I say calmly. “You get mad at me and go dance with a random man? To what? Make me jealous?”
“You know what? Yes!” she yells. “I wanted you to feel a fraction of what I felt knowing that there was every likelihood that you had fucked dozens of women in that club tonight. How would you feel if Dean came up to you and commented about how much he missed my pussy? What if it wasn’t just Dean? What if I didn’t even remember how many men had been inside me?”
I’m gripping the steering wheel so hard that my knuckles turn white. The thought of anyone else touching my angel makes me want to throw up.
“How would you feel,Ledger, to watch me kiss the cheek of a man who had made me come? Would you wonder for the rest of your life if it was better with him?”
I can barely breathe, let alone speak. Because she’s right. I’ve always preferred a woman with more experience, but I wouldn’t be able to stand the idea of another man making her come.
I remain silent as we pull into the garage. I open her door and help her out before going to draw her a bubble bath. When I make my way back downstairs, I find her sitting in the living room, curled up in a ball, sniffling and wiping tears from under her eyes.
Picking her up, I cradle her in my arms and walk her into the bathroom. I pull her dress up over her head and take off her underwear, then pick her back up and lower her gently into the warm bath where she sits, pulling her knees to her chest.
It’s taken an hour, but I’ve finally cooled off enough to remember how to speak. I kneel beside the bath and put both of my hands on her knees.
“Sloane, your feelings are absolutely valid, and I’m so, so sorry for putting you in that position before preparing you first. But baby, Ineedyou to know, there is only you and there will only ever be you. All of the faceless women before you were just a means to release. I willneverthink of anyone but you, love. I swear to you, I wouldn’t be able to remember what it was like with another woman if I tried. Sex with you is by far the best I’ve ever had. I can’t begin to comprehend how hard it will be for you to believe me. I couldn’t talk for an hour just thinking about you with one other man, and I’m a selfish asshole for being glad I never have to when I have as much experience as I do.”
She’s still not looking at me, but I can see tears trailing down her cheeks. Seeing her in pain breaks something in me, and I have to cover my eyes with my palms to hide from the shame of what I’ve done. “Please don’t hold my past against me. I love you, baby, please don’t shut me out now.” I try to say more, but my voice cracks as I fight back tears of my own.
“I love you too,” she whispers as she takes my hands from my face and brings them to her mouth to kiss.
We stare into each other's eyes until all our tears are gone. “I’m sorry, Ledger. You’ve never been anything but honest with me about your past, but I guess experiencing it wasdifferent than hearing it. I just got so jealous. I’ve never been enough for anyone, and well—”
I cut her off with a kiss. “You’reeverythingto me, sweet girl. I will spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
After a few more minutes of letting her soak, I pull the drain on the tub and guide her into the shower. I adjust the temperature and ensure the pressure is on the setting she likes best. When everything is to her liking, I pull back to allow her some space, but her soft hand grabs my wrist before I can get very far.
“Join me?”
My sweet, sweet Sloane. We’re both emotionally raw, but she still wants to be near me. I’ll take that as a massive win and thank my lucky stars she has such a kind heart.
I strip, noticing the heat rising in her eyes as I reveal myself to her, including her handprint over my heart. I’ll cover every free inch of my skin in her marks if she’ll let me.
