Oh no. Oh fuck.
She turns the music off and moves my hand from her thigh. “Please tell me you did notpurposelyruin what was probably the best night of my life.”
I’m going to have to turkey baste her.
Seriously, why is that the only thought in my mind right now?I’m trying to think of a reasonable way to answer without losing her, but nothing comes to mind. Not a single word becauseI’ve built you a castle, and I didn’t want you to be in a relationship when I brought you back to said castle to consummate oursseems a bit extreme. Instead of giving her an excuse that will inevitably push her away even more, I just hang my head and breathe out, “I’m sorry, Angel.”
We don’t say another word for the rest of the drive. It’s only a few minutes, but the silence makes it seem like an eternity. I stop the car, and she immediately hops out. Before she can make it to her door, I’m there. I have to try.
I take her face in my hands and pull her gaze to mine. In the dark, I didn’t notice that she had tears welling up again.Fuck.We lock eyes, and I know she must feel exactly howrightwe are for each other. I use my thumbs to wipe away the tears that have started falling down her face. “Sloane, please forgive me. I’m so sorry.”
She takes my hands in her own, and for a moment, I think she’ll forgive me. I let myself fall into that fantasy. A world where she takes my hands and wraps them around her waist. I lean down and kiss her lips while I hold her tight. Soft at first, then, when those soft kisses become frantic, I pick her up and carry her to her apartment, not breaking our connection. She fumbles with her keys for a moment before finally unlocking the door. As soon as we enter the apartment, I close the door behind us, and her back is against it. I thrust against her, and she moans when she feels my solid length lined up perfectly. If the barrier of our clothes didn’t exist, I would be able to fuck directly into her tight little cunt…
She throws my hands down aggressively, snapping me back to reality. “No, Ledger. Don’t touch me. I can’t do this right now. I just broke up with one lying asshole, and I’m not about to walk willingly into the arms of another.” Tears stream down her face.
“Angel…”
She stops me when I go to wipe away another tear. “I’m not your angel, Ledger. Just, just leave me alone, okay?”
“No.”
Her mouth drops open, and any sadness in her eyes turns to anger. “Excuse me?”
“I said no. I’m not going to leave you alone. I’m sorry for my lapse in judgment about the diner on Thursday night. I really am. But I’m not going to stop fighting for you. I’ll give you some space to work through things. Two weeks. I’ll give you two weeks. Then we’re going to talk through everything like adults and move past it.”
She’s backed up to her apartment by now and takes a moment with her keys. She dramatically opens the door and steps in, but before she can slam it shut, she yells, “Fuck you, Ledger.” There’s that fire in her eyes again.God, I love that fire.
“Oh, I plan on it…Angel.”
Her mouth drops open, and she stares at me with wide eyes. It takes everything in me not to cross that threshold and fuck herright now. Instead, I walk back to my car and start to plan my week, already dreading that I’ve agreed to give my girl space.
Chapter twelve
I slam the door, letting out a guttural scream as I sink to the ground. A thud comes from Allie’s side of the apartment before she races into view holding a…gun? What happened to her giant knife?
“Sloane? Jesus Christ, are you okay? Are you hurt?”
Standing, I show her that, physically, at least, I’m fine. “I’m okay, Al. Men just completely freaking suck.”
Allie sighs and flicks the safety back on her gun. “Yes, yes, they do. Do you want to talk about it? Particularly if it has anything to do with the hickeys all over your neck?”
Pinching the bridge of my nose, I make a note tothrottleLedger the next time I see him.Except he’s probably into that.“A full debrief tomorrow, for sure. If you have time, I’m going to order an obscene amount of snacks and alcohol for delivery. Maybe supplies for making a couple of voodoo dolls.”
“I’ve always got time for you, especially to eat junk and talk shit about men,” Allie says, giving me another once-over asif she’s not sure I’m truly fine. “You’re sure you don’t need anything else?”
“I’m sure. Please go back to bed. We’ll leave no stone unturned tomorrow during our debrief. Bring a colored pen set so your notes will be organized.”
Giving me a salute, Allie turns to go back to her room, where I hear more than one muffled voice.Glad she also had a fruitful night after our adventure. Although I hope hers ended on a better note than mine.
I make my way into my bedroom, determined to at least get through my skincare routine before collapsing into bed. As soon as I have moisturizer on and finish flossing, I feel the full weight of the evening start to sink in. Lying down, it’s obvious that sleep won’t come easily tonight.
Of course, my first thoughts are of Ledger. I miss him, and that isso freaking annoyingin the setting of what looks to be some world-class manipulation on his part.Is it, though?Another part of my brain unhelpfully supplies. Good to know I have an angel on one shoulder and devil on the other situation going on here, even in my own conscience. Damn. Speaking of conscience, regardless of how Ledger tried to spin things, I absolutely cheated on Dean tonight.
I take a deep breath and decide to think about just the facts of mine and Ledger’s…relationship, friendship, whatever we have at this point.
We met with mutual lust, then became…friends, I thought. We certainly spent enough time together after his mother started trying to play matchmaker. While we were friends, though, he clearly became interested in me romantically, considering that he…stalked me, tracked me, and hacked my electronics to ensure every one of my whims, wants, and needs was immediately fulfilled. Okay, yes, it was very helpful and lovely stalking, but still, stalking. Clearly, he also spent time masterminding my breakup, and although I am stillso madat his methods, I can’t deny the feeling of relief I have knowing that I don’t have to pretend to have romantic feelings for Dean anymore. Especially now that I’ve seen his true colors. I don’t want to dwell on what my life would have been like if I married him.
Ugh, even the thought is enough to make me want to dry heave.
