“Yeah. Th-thanks again for tonight,” I stumble over my words as I awkwardly slip by him to stand with my back against the door.
He smiles. “Okay. Well, I’ll see you later.”
I nod. My heart beats against my ribcage while the words I want to say are on the tip of my tongue. I don’t want the night to be over. The desire to be back in his arms again is strong, but not enough for me to say anything.
“Good night.”
I watch River’s dark frame disappear down the hallway until it’s out of view.
My eyes roll with embarrassment about how I barely know how to act around him. We’ve had all these intimate moments so why didthatmoment between us feel like an awkward first date?
Is it because we both want more?
Nothing is stopping us from giving in to whatever it is we both seem to be feeling—because it’s simply us alone.
I take a quick shower, hoping to shake off the adrenaline and the feelings toward River. But now I find myself standing in front of my bed, staring down at the red velvet comforter, unable to settle. I can’t simply go to sleep and pretend I didn’t kill a man or the fact that I have no remorse.
I can’t decipher what’s right and wrong, and the only other person who understands how I feel is on the opposite side of his gigantic home. I’m anxious to be near him again.
Without any more thought, I get myself dressed and walk right out of the door heading for River’s bedroom. It doesn’t take long before my nerves make me regret coming. But before I can change my mind, I knock.
“Lux? Is everything okay?” He answers the door with only a towel wrapped around his waist. The light in his dimly lit room casts shadows over him. I can’t make out the details of his tattoos, but I can see they expand across his shoulders and back.
My eyes roam over his bare chest, drinking in every divot and curve, before I finally meet his gaze, I manage to say, “Yes.”
“Do you need something?” His focus on me is heated, and I can’t help but catch a slight reddening of his cheeks.
“I, uh—”
“Yes?”
I lick my lips, letting my eyes drift downward and imagine where the trail of hair leads, causingheat to pool in my panties. “I-I didn’t want to be alone. And you’re the only person who understands what we just went through.”
“I do. Do you want to come in?” Rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, he pushes the door open further with the other.
“Sure.” Ducking under his outstretched arm, I walk into River’s bedroom. It’s exactly how I picture it with dark colors and an oversized king bed. My eyes scan the room, seeing a large television hanging on the far wall, 360-degree windows covered in thick black curtains, and two leather chairs with a small table in the middle in the corner.
“Couldn’t sleep?”
Standing in the middle of the room with my palms sweaty, I’m not sure what to do with myself. “No.”
His eyes soften. “I know how you’re feeling. It will pass.”
“I guess I just don’t want to be alone.”
River takes a few steps toward me, eating the distance between us. “You’re not alone.”
“Can I stay here until I fall asleep?” I ask, bypassing the fear of vulnerability.
River slowly closes the distance between us, then a gentle hand comes up to rest on my face. “You can stay here as long as you want.”
I lean into his touch immediately feeling a relief, but my eyes fall back to his bare chest. “Thank you.”
“I hope you know I’m always here for you, Lux,” he whispers and a breeze carrying the scent of Irish Spring hits my nostrils.
Closing my eyes to enjoy the sensation of his warm palm against my skin, I inadvertently let my hands move to his waist, but jerk them away when I finally realize what I’m doing.
“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”
