“You know, Dad was pretty suspicious when you came to Philadelphia with us.” He talks like this is no big deal. Like we always have this kind of conversation. “I told him that it was nothing. That you were just scouting out the city for some future work.”
“Did he buy it?”
“Probably not.” He swirls his drink. His voice is soft, but his face is hard. “Are you going to talk about it now? Or are you going to keep pretending like nothing’s wrong right up until the last second?”
This is a mistake.
It’s such a bad fucking mistake.
I take a long drink. The alcohol only stokes the hell inside me.
“The Marinos are going to need someone to run their local business,” I tell him, struggling to keep my voice level. “I think Dad was going to ask Seamus to do it. But I’ll make him give it to you.”
Finn’s eyebrows raise. “I figured that job was basically mine already.”
“It’s not. You know how Dad operates.”
He laughs bitterly. “I’m fucking aware. Can’t get good, important work without proving yourself. Can’t prove yourself without good, important work either. Stuck in a goddamn shit-loop eating shit sandwiches at every turn.”
“Seamus is good and reliable. That’s why he’s the first choice. Declan’s got his own stuff going on. And you know me.”
“Sure, you’re too busy—” He mimes strangling someone. “So why would Dad listen to you?”
“Because he needs me more than he admits. I’m the grease that turns the wheel.”
“More like the blood.”
I stare at him, not smiling. He’s not wrong. “It’ll be a big job, bigger than anything you’ve gotten to this point.”
“What do you want in exchange?” he asks, speaking very slowly.
My brother’s a good man, but he’s also ambitious. He’ll do anything to prove himself, and this is the perfect opportunity. If he manages this transition, it’ll show our father that he’s ready for more responsibility. That means more power. More money. More trust.
I feel the words like poison in my throat. I open my mouth, but I don’t know if I can make them come out.
It’s not too late to turn away. I could make some excuse. Tell him some stupid lie he won’t believe, but it would be enough to save face.
I could still save myself.
But I’ve been gone for a very long time, and any chance at clawing back my sanity was lost years ago.
“Let me marry her instead.”
I expect him to look surprised, to laugh and tell me that’s crazy, to give mesomething.
Instead, he only takes a drink, ice tinkling against the glass.
My jaw works. My heart hammers as blood fills my face. I hate this fucking feeling. Like I’m at his goddamn mercy.
Finn could break me now if he wanted.
But Finn’s a good man.
“You love her that much, don’t you?”
“No,” I whisper, grim and horrible. “I don’t love her at all.”
It’s so much worse than that.
