“And what if we’d lost you both? We’re too thin as it is. The JTT can’t take that kind of hit and come up fighting.”
“I know.”
“And what about Becca? That girl was fucking devastated when she thought you were dead. Deva-stated. Kills me just thinking about it.”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t fucking know.” Cody pushed to his feet, and they stood chest to chest. “You weren’t there. You didn’t see her fear. You didn’t hear her cries. You didn’t watch her fall to pieces. She won’t survive this without you. So the next time you decide to sacrifice yourself for her, for us, for the entire population of the fucking planet, know this—she’ll follow along behind you. No questions asked. No hesitation. You understand what I’m saying?”
Yeah, he knew what Cody was hinting at, but unable to accept any version of a world in which Becca didn’t exist, he said the exact wrong thing. “She’s stronger than she looks.”
“No, she’s not.” Cody shook his head. “Not when it comes to you, so get your shit together, Mann. You said she’s your priority, so what the fuck are you doing here? Go find her. Go talk to her. Go promise her you’ll never leave her like that again.”
“She’s sleeping.”
“And?”
“She needs?—”
“No offense, but it’s been seven years, dickhead. You have no idea what she needs, because you haven’t fucking asked her. I get it, the two of you have history—and some of it includes the shit nightmares are made of—but anyone with eyeballs can see you love her, and she loves you. Carpe diem, Jay. You know better than anyone there’s no guarantee for tomorrow, or the day after, or the day after that, and waiting for the stars to align, or for the right opportunity to present itself…” Cody shook his head. “Lord knows that’s never gonna happen. So stop wasting time. Stop worrying. Stop overthinking every little thing and just be with her for however long the two of you have left.”
Well, shit. His first time on the receiving end of one of Cody’s sermons, Jay was left a little stunned by the life-is-short wisdom coming from the big Texan. “You make it sound so simple.”
“If you do the math, it is simple. One plus one equals two. You and Becca together. Nothing else matters.” Cody grabbed Jay in a hug, and mindful of his injury, he landed a solid thump to his good shoulder. “You deserve to be happy. So does she. That doesn’t mean you won’t have to work for it, but imagine all the things you could do together. Accomplish together. The two of you are going to save the fucking world. After that, the possibilities are endless.”
“And if we fail?” Jay returned the back thump with one of his own, and they separated.
Cody shrugged and shoved Jay toward the door. “Then you’ll still have each other, and that’s a hell of a lot more than some will have.”
Momentum took Jay a few steps toward the hallway before he stopped and turned. “Your someone’s out there, Cody, and she’s waiting for you too. Don’t give up on her before you meet her, okay?”
Back in his chair, Cody looked up from the security monitors. “Well, if I’m ever lucky enough to meet the woman of my dreams, guaranteed I won’t be sitting here talking to you while she’s upstairs warming my sheets.” He hitched his chin toward the exit. “Get lost. I’ve got work to do.”
Jay threw him the finger across the room. “Love you.”
Cody grinned and returned the favor. “Everybody loves me, fuck face. And if you don’t go find Becca right now, I’ll turn on the charm and make sure she does too. You catch my drift?”
Drift caught, Jay’s grin turned into a heartfelt scowl. “You know I’m not above knocking you senseless, right?”
“Ooo, somebody’s the jealous type. Fat lot of good it does you down here.”
“Alright. Alright,” Jay complained. “I’m going. No need to drown a dead horse.”
“It’s beat a dead horse, you socially inept motherboard whisperer. Get your head out of the digital clouds and go be human for a change.”
“You’re such an asshole,” he grumbled, turning to leave after tossing one last fuck you finger Cody’s way.
“Yeah, but you love me anyway. You already said it. No take-backs!” he shouted as Jay left the room.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Disjointed. Disconnected. Discombobulated. Becca couldn’t settle on the best D-word to describe how she felt lying in the oversized bed in what was, according to Davis, Jay’s room. The luxury accommodations didn’t feel like him. The down pillows didn’t smell like him. The new razor in the huge glass shower didn’t have any little black beard hairs gumming up the blade.
God, she felt so clean. She’d shaved. Everything. Legs. Cooch. Armpits. It’d been so long since she last defuzzed, she could’ve used two blades and destroyed them both. And when in the hell had she started sprouting hairs on her big toes? Unfair. Twenty-eight wasn’t supposed to feel so damn old.
She should be sleeping. Not thinking about body hair. She hadn’t cared about hairy legs in…seven years. She tossed. She turned. She pulled the cloud-like duvet up to her neck. Stuck her arm out. Whacked it down.
Nope. She flipped again. Faced the door.
