“Yep,” Jamie replied, drying his hands and tossing the paper towels before filling a glass of water. On his way back, he made a pit stop at his desk to rummage in a drawer, and she hoped the bar he yanked out consisted of chocolate-covered chocolate. However, beggars couldn’t be choosers, and she’d eat whatever he offered at this point.
Still too unsettled to meet Jay’s gaze, she kept her eyes on Jamie as he approached. “Drink,” he ordered, handing her the water, and as the glass exchanged hands, she noticed the shiny gold band he wore.
Interesting. Gray had also worn a wedding ring. Maybe the two of them were?—
“And eat this.” He gave her a protein bar, and her disappointment was real, albeit short-lived. “When I’m done with Jay, I’ll bring you to the kitchen for a proper meal.”
Not wanting to appear ungrateful, and finding an odd comfort in his presence, she nodded her acceptance of the plan. In response, he adjusted the height of the patient table and rolled it closer.
Without being told, she took an obligatory sip of water before reaching to put the glass down, and hands free, she tore into the wrapper under his watchful stare. With her immediate needs taken care of, she expected him to turn his focus to Jay, but instead, he slid his phone out of his pocket.
Head bent, and loose hair falling into his face, he thumbed a quick text. Within seconds, an answer blooped back, and satisfied with whatever he read on the screen, he put the phone face down on the table.
When he finally turned his back, she let loose with a silent but heartfelt sigh as her mind released the last of the distress it’d been clinging to. No longer the center of anyone’s attention, she relaxed her vigilance. Breathed a little easier. Settled herself within her body and found a precarious balance.
The first bite of the protein bar was nirvana, and with her taste buds rejoicing, her stomach clenched in anticipation. Bite. Chew. Swallow. Repeat. Feeding her face the only requirement for the moment, she let her mind go blank and ate her meal in peace.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
If Jay ever needed proof he was a fool when it came to Becca, he had it now. Jesus Christ—only if you lie down with me…
In the last twenty-four hours, she’d witnessed him shoot another man, been abducted, drugged, and thrown into a strange environment to figure shit out on her own, and he opens with the worst one-liner in the history of one-liners after being awake and in her presence for two-point-three seconds.
God, if he could cut out his own tongue, he would.
And the immediate effect of his stupidity?
Heartbreaking.
He’d never seen anyone shut down so fast, or so completely. His fault. He hadn’t considered what she might be going through, the confusion, the anxiety, the fear of not knowing where she’d been taken, or what came next.
Not to mention the dredging up of a past she’d probably spent years trying to bury.
He should have known. Been better prepared. Looked beyond his own needs and kept his focus on her. Hell, he didn’t know how she felt about him after all these years. Had no clue if she was happy to see him or not. What if she’d been involved with someone else? Someone on Big Diomede?
Aw, fuck…
What if she had a boyfriend? He hadn’t considered the possibility. Not once. What if she had someone she cared about on the island? Maybe one of Volkov’s men had been kind to her and?—
Nope. He couldn’t think about Becca with another man. At the same time, he couldn’t stomach being the cause of any further hurt or unhappiness in her life. Shit! He needed her in the same way lungs needed oxygen, and a body needed blood. One didn’t function without the other.
But what about Becca? What did she need? Who did she need? He grimaced as his heart constricted, a flash of pain making his insides twist, and he saw stars. They danced around her head, and he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She, on the other hand, couldn’t look at him at all.
The air thick between them, she kept her head bent and her eyes focused on the floor as she ate in silence. He needed to talk to her. One on one. Not as strangers trying to catch up after seven years apart. Not as two people brought together by a common enemy. But as Jay and Becca, the couple who had once shared the deepest parts of their souls.
He needed to find a way past her defenses, to reconnect with the woman he loved with a ferocity that hadn’t diminished over time and meet the woman she’d become. He wanted to rediscover the parts of her that had been shaped by their common past, and marvel in the strengths and triumphs she’d found since then and on her own.
Wouldn’t be easy. He could see that now. She’d built a fortress around herself—a protective barrier she felt safe behind. There’d be no breaking through. No tearing down. No climbing over. The way to Becca’s heart?
By invitation only.
And fuck, he wanted to be invited—more than anything—but going by how quickly she’d shut him out, he needed help.
“How’re you feeling?” Jamie asked, his chest blocking Jay’s line of sight to Becca as he lowered the head of the bed to a slightly less elevated position.
“Never better,” he grumbled, his eyes on the ceiling. Man, he was tired. Completely drained. His mental and physical batteries in need of a recharge. But with so much to do, so much to say, so many things to resolve, he needed to be awake and functioning on a higher level.
Jamie responded with a disbelieving snort, and after plugging his stethoscope into his ears, he placed the bell on Jay’s chest. “Breathe in.”
