“But maybe if I had paid more attention, or…” Eve took a shaky breath and wiped at the tears that sprang to her eyes. “Sorry.”
“There’s no need to apologize. Cry if you need to. Scream. Curse. Punch a pillow. There’s no right or wrong way to deal with the trauma you’ve been through, and healing isn’t a straight shot to the finish line. It’s three steps forward, two steps back. But here’s the thing, twenty-twenty hindsight is a much easier path to follow. Unfortunately, it leads you nowhere. If you want to work toward learning to trust yourself again—to trust your instincts—you need to look no further than the moment you’re in and the next step in front of you. If accepting Adam’s proposal feels right to you now—that’s great. If you have doubts tomorrow, discuss them with him. Being open and honest is the best way to build your relationship going forward.”
Eve nodded. She liked the way Nalini guided the conversation to get to the heart of the matter. “Thanks, Dr. Christina. I really appreciate you fitting me into your schedule.”
“Feel free to call me Nalini,” she said, checking her watch. “I’ve got another client coming in shortly, but if you need to talk before our next appointment, you can call my emergency number anytime. And remember, patience is key. Give yourself some grace. Allow yourself to mourn for those you lost and know that the grief you feel doesn’t make you complicit in the crimes they committed.”
“I will.” Eve waved goodbye to the woman who had already started to feel like a friend and confidant. “See you tomorrow.”
“I look forward to it.”
They both clicked off the call, and with the session ended, Eve leaned back in her chair and let herself feel whatever came to the surface without judgment or shame. The circumstances that had brought her here, to this time and this place, were horrific.
So many lives lost. So much pain and suffering.
All of it needless.
Pointless deaths that could have been prevented if only Bryan had been given the help he needed from the start.
And yet…those same circumstances had given her Adam. Her savior. Her knight in Kevlar armor. The man who called her princess, and more importantly treated her like one. The only emotion not tangled up with another, she loved him. No question. Safe. Simple. Easy.
The rest of her feelings were jumbled together, hitting her with rapid-fire emotional swings that left her reeling. Joy coupled with guilt. Hope with fear. Excitement with regret. But through it all—one constant.
Well, two really.
She loved Adam.
He loved her.
And for now, nothing else mattered.
CHAPTERFORTY-EIGHT
Eve enteredthe last of her patient notes and saved the document to Grant’s file. Done for the day, she closed her laptop, stood, and reached both arms over her head, the pull of tight muscles a warning she needed to pay attention to.
Lowering her arms, she bent at the waist and placed her hands on the floor, holding the stretch until she felt the tension in her back release. Man, she needed to get her butt back into the gym. Establish a routine. Set aside some time for yoga and self-care. But right now, all she wanted was to find Adam and take him upstairs to celebrate their engagement by way of multiple orgasms.
His and hers—a matching set.
Yep, sounded like the perfect end to an unexpected day. This morning she’d awoken in a fog of uncertainty. Within hours, her future had unfurled right in front of her. Straightening, she swept her gaze around her new office.
With the treatment table moved closer to the wall, the room made an excellent physical therapy space. And having the gym and yoga studio right outside her door was ideal. She had everything she needed to get started—including a line-up of patients she looked forward to working with.
She closed her eyes and took a slow breath. In for three. Hold. Out for three. Repeat. Peace and quiet embraced her. Yes, she could heal here. She had Adam. She had purpose. And she had time.
Eager to get the celebration portion of the evening started, she put her ass in gear and had made it halfway to the door when the lights went out. Plunged into darkness, she froze, her fear of the dark paralyzing her while panic flooded her system.
Don’t be scared. Don’t be scared.Eyes squeezed tight, Eve saw her mother’s face. The image fleeting, it went as quickly as it came, but she recognized the smile. Always the smile. Okay. Think. Think. Think. What would her mother do?
Use her phone. Nope. Not an option. She’d forgotten hers in Adam’s office. Her heart raced and sweat bloomed along her hairline.Oh God. Don’t vomit.She swallowed. Swallowed again.
Move.Her brain gave the order. Her body refused to comply.
Tell me you love me, Mommy!
No! Eve pushed the memories of Bryan away. She wasn’t handcuffed to the rail in the cell. She was in her office. In the basement of the lodge. Surrounded by a thousand acres of forest in northern Montana.
All she had to do was wait. Keep her eyes closed, regulate her breathing, pretend a soft light glowed in the corner. Adam would find her—eventually. The pressure in her chest lessened as his image came to mind.
