I bite my lip and slip the note back into the envelope before grabbing the flowers. It’s a bouquet of roses. Letting them fall from my hand along with the note, I bend down, grab my bag, and unlock my car door. Throwing it into the passenger seat, I’m about to climb in when my attention snags on the wrapping.You hate roses, Faith. Let it go.
Getting behind the wheel, my hands grip it tightly, knuckles white as I struggle to get myself to close the door.Fucking get it together.I start the car, the radio a quiet hum as I put the vehicle in reverse. Just as I’m about to drive away, I spot the flowers in my rearview mirror and put my foot on the break. Letting my head fall against the steering wheel for a moment, I take a deep breath and open the door.
Glancing around, I notice there’s a couple getting into their vehicle, giving me a strange look. I give them a forced smile as I bend down and pick up the note, but I leave the flowers where they are and get back into my car, taking off for the arena.
Of course the first half of the drive is spent thinking about those roses. The logical answer is they came from Jesse. I mean, he said it himself at breakfast this morning that he liked my smile. There are some coincidences that would be too big. But the irrational side of me wants to believe they came from Kai as a friendly gesture. However, he knows I hate roses. He had asked for my opinion earlier in the week about what he should sendthe woman he’s interested in and I believe my response was,“Anything but red roses.”
Thinking about Jesse sneaking out after breakfast, getting me roses, writing me a note, and sticking them in my car makes me feel…confused. He’s a playboy with a reputation—despite the fact that he doesn’t plan to sleep around until finals are over—a man who doesn’t have to put effort into getting a girl to like him, and yet here he is, doing something nice to try and get my attention.
Oh my god, is that what this is? Is he only doing these things for the thrill of the chase? Of course he is. If he really thinks that flowers and a note will get me to give him a chance, he’s got another thing coming. After everything I went through with Adam, the last thing I want to do is?—
The music cuts out as my phone starts to ring, my father’s name popping up on the screen. I groan loudly, using my free hand to rub my face before I hit the answer button.
“Hey, Dad,” I say, unable to hide the lack of enthusiasm from my voice. “What’s up?”
“Just wanted to check in on my little girl,” he tells me, and I hear the sound of paper crinkling in the background. He must be reading the paper. “How have you been?”
Just checking in my ass.“Fine.”
“Just fine?” I nod as if he can see me. “How’s work been? I see you’ve been covering professional bull-riding. That’s new.”
“I’m quite enjoying it, actually. Now, why don’t we just cut to the chase?”
He scoffs in surprise. “What do you mean, honey? I just?—”
“Dad.”
“Okay, fine.” He releases a loud sigh. “I was calling to check in and see how you and Adam are doing.”
“There is no me and Adam, Dad. I thought we’ve gone over this.”
This time, his sigh is one of pure frustration. “Come on, honey. It’s just a stupid fight. Don’t you think it’s time the two of you made up?”
“It’s not a stupid fight, Dad. What Adam did?—”
“Isn’t something worth throwing away three years of your life over.”You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.“These things happen in relationships.”
“Okay, first off, no. They don’t. Just because mom stayed with you doesn’t mean I have to do the same.” I hear him take a breath, but I continue before he can interrupt me. “Second, I can’t believe this is a conversation you took time out of my day for. Aren’t you supposed to want me to be happy?”
He’s silent for a moment. “Of course I want you happy, honey. And I know Adam wants that, too. Can’t you try to put your differences aside?”
“Dad, I’m not having this—” My eyebrows furrow. “What do you mean you know he wants that, too?”
“He told me.” A laugh slips past my lips just as I turn into the parking lot of the arena. “He wants you back, Faith.”
“Yeah, not a chance in hell.” Finding an empty spot in the media lot, I turn the car off. “I have to go, Dad. I have work to do. I’ll call you…some other time.”
I hang up, not giving him the opportunity to respond. Of course he can’t understand why I refuse to get back with Adam. Mom took him back each time—yes, it happened more than once—he cheated, and I swore I would never let another man walk all over me the way Mom let him. She claimed it was for me, that she didn’t want me to grow up in a split household. Instead, I had to play the mediator every time they fought, had to be Mom’s shoulder to cry on when Dad was unfaithful, and learned all the wrong ways to treat somebody.
And I wonder why I struggle to know what I want or need in a relationship.
I reach over to the passenger seat to grab my bag and see the note sitting on top of it. Catching myself smiling, I shake my head, shove it into the front pocket, and zip it shut. Maybe he’s not an asshole after all.
Doesn’t mean I want to date him, though.
“Just because you don’t want to date doesn’t mean you can’t take him for a spin,”Rylie had said to me last night, not long before I brought Jesse back to his hotel room. We had gone to the bar nearby once we got into town, only to find all the other bull riders had the same idea.“Clearly, he’s good in bed. Maybe that’s exactly what you need.”
“I don’t need to add that kind of complication into my life,”I told her.“That’s what toys are for. Besides, I don’t want to be with someone who sleeps around with other women.”
