“Thank you.” It comes out more as a whisper, my surprise at not only his apology but his words tugging at something inside me.Don’t get emotional now, you wuss.“Let me rephrase my question from earlier. How’d it feel when you realized that you are one of the few on the list who made it eight seconds on the bull you rode tonight? I promise I’ll learn their names by next weekend.”
“To be fair, we only know the hardest and the easiest bulls’ names,” he tells me with laughter lacing his voice. Slipping his hat back onto his head, he continues, “It felt amazing. I’m obviously chasing that golden buckle—want to be able to tell my father that I got my first buckle the same age he was when he got his—but these little victories along the way mean just as much. It’s definitely something I’m going to remember.”
Once I’m done writing, I flip my notebook closed. “Thank you, Kai. I’m looking forward to talking to you more over these next few months.”
“Me too.” His smile seems lighter now, easier to come by, and that causes the rest of the tension to evaporate from the hall. He stands and takes a step closer to me as loud cheers erupt from the arena, the final rider finishing his ride. “We’re all going downtown for a few drinks after this. Want to come with? Can learn more about the rest of the riders.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll be heading home for the night. This was a bit of a shock for me, so I’m drained. I’ll take a rain check.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Kai winks before he begins to walk in the direction Jesse had gone. “Goodnight, darlin’.”
“Goodnight, Kai.”
I watch as he disappears around the corner, a small smile on my lips. Waiting a couple minutes so I’m not directly behind him, I follow his footsteps and make my way back to the media room to grab my things. Today has been a whirlwind, but Kai seems to be the perfect ending I needed. I never had siblings growing up, so I can’t say I know what that feels like, but something tells me that Kai is going to turn into the younger brother I never had. But after never having anyone there for me, if I have to step in and stop others from ruining his small wins? Then that’s exactly what I’ll do.
Even if it’s from a certain cocky green-eyed cowboy I find myself thinking about the entire drive home.
4JESSE
SALT LAKE CITY
pressure all around
I’m pacingin the hallway below the arena in the Delta Center, my boots echoing off the cement. I’ll tell you one thing: if this had been carpet, you’d be able to see the path I had worn into it.Who the hell am I? What is happening to me?Faith hadn’t been there on the last day in Sacramento, so I wasn’t able to apologize to her—again. I’ve been running through that day for the last ninety-six hours, trying to figure out where I could’ve gone wrong. Did I even do anything wrong? That’s the question I can’t seem to answer.
I apologized for the way I acted in the hallway when we met, but then turned around and acted like a stuck up, cocky bull rider not even an hour later. I think I apologized for that? I truthfully can’t remember. Then I put my foot in it by interrupting her interview with Kai. Truth be told, I just wanted to hear her call me Pretty Boy again—which she said she’d tell me if I was or not if I stayed on for the full eight, and I did—so I had gone looking for her. I thought I was keeping thingslight, but Kai looked pissed. Have I tried apologizing to him? Absolutely. But he hasn’t responded to any of my texts.
So here I am, burning a hole in my boots as I wait for one of them to show up so I can finally clear my conscience. Kai, I owe an apology, but Faith? I just don’t want her to really think I’m one of those playboys who sleeps with anyone that gives me attention. Okay, fine, I used to be, but I meant what I said to Henry. I’m done with that—unless it’s her.
Is it crazy to be hung up on a girl I’ve talked to for maybe twenty minutes total and haven’t seen in five days? Oh, without a fucking doubt. But I’m no scientist. I don’t understand how the body works. And I’m no therapist, so I can’t explain emotions, either. Honestly, the more I try to explain it, to understand it, the bigger a headache I get. So I’ve stopped trying.
Some things you just have to accept with no explanation.
So I’ve been told.
“I heard that pacing like that is bad for your posture.” I stop and turn abruptly, practically giving myself whiplash, my attention falling on Faith. She’s a little more casual than last weekend, but still severely overdressed. She’s got a short-sleeved button-up dress shirt—which exposes a small tattoo on her wrist and another just below the crook of her elbow—paired with dark red dress pants and black booties that almost look like cowboy boots. Her curly hair is tied up in a large bun atop her head, and she’s wearing less makeup than before.
Lord, help me.
“Thank goodness you’re here, then, so I can stop.” She raises an eyebrow, so I press on. “You’re looking good, Sweetheart.”
Her eyes narrow slightly at the nickname, which she told me to stop using, but I just can’t help myself—I’m a sucker for punishment, I guess—and she lifts her chin. “Well, I learn from my mistakes. Wearing white around here? Definitely not the way to go. I figured darker clothes would be safer.”
“Quick learner. You’ll do just fine here.”
She rolls her eyes and closes the gap between us. I stiffen in anticipation, a smile growing on my lips the closer she gets, but she surprises me as she slips past and continues down the hallway. Shaking off my momentary stupor, I spin on my heel and chase after her. The smell of her perfume—woody and floral,I think—trails behind her as I catch up. However, once I’m in earshot, she speaks before I have the opportunity.
“I don’t need other people telling me I’ll do well here.” She stops abruptly and turns to face me, making me come to a screeching halt. “I have been doing this for almost seven years. At one point or another, I always had to do something I wasn’t one hundred percent comfortable with. And yet, I keep getting the hard assignments. You want to know why? Because I’m good at my job. I can adapt and take on any challenge that is thrown my way. I’ve always been a hard worker and a quick learner.”
“And this defensiveness of yours,” I start to say before I can stop myself, cocking an eyebrow as I cross my arms over my chest. “Is that new? Or have you always been that way?”
She scoffs, mimicking my posture. “I wonder why I would be defensive. Could it be because all you damn bull riders look at me like I don’t belong here? Or because everyone in my office has been talking about how absurd it is that I’d take on an assignment like this and that they don’t think I’ll last? Or, and this one, this one’s my personal favorite, could it be because my own father—” She stops, shaking her head. “You’re right. I have no reason to be defensive.”
“I truthfully didn’t mean any offense.”Way to put your foot in your mouth, you fucking idiot.“I’m sorry.”
“There’s a difference between teasing and sarcasm and then doubting someone's capability. One is fun and lighthearted, the other is demeaning.” She takes a small step closer so we’realmost chest to chest. “I think it’s about damn time someone taught you the difference.”
I watch as she walks away, not bothering to chase her or try and argue my case. Is she right? Have I really been that big of an ass? Is this really because of me, or am I just the one she’s taking it out on?What the hell just happened?
