No wonder Mikhail behaved the way he did in Mexico and killed everyone.
No wonder he showed no mercy when he took me.
But what about now?
Nothing has changed all that much. The problem still exists.
Sophia places a hand over mine and taps my knuckles.
“Please don’t worry. I can see I’ve troubled you. Wait in here for Aleksander to come back, then have something to eat and go to sleep, Okay?”
“Yes. Thank you.”
“I’ll see you at the dinner tomorrow.” She gives me that heartwarming smile again. The reminder of dinner tomorrow and knowing the whole story just makes me feel like vomiting.
She might be nice, but what is everyone else going to be like? I have a strong feeling they won’t be like her. Maybe that’s another reason why she’s been coming here. She probably feels sorry for me.
“I’ll see you then,” I say, and she dips her head for a curt goodbye.
Five minutes after she leaves, Aleksander walks into the sunroom with a scowl on his face. He’s clearly annoyed he has to do anything for me, and looks more put out than usual when he tells me to come into the kitchen.
We don’t talk as he makes up a plate of cookies and hot chocolate with milk and cream he prepares on the stove.
Before he hands it to me, I notice him put some spices in there, like cinnamon, nutmeg, and something red.
The red bits float on the top and puff out the way marshmallows would, but I don’t think they’re marshmallows.
“Thank you for making this for me,” I tell him.
“I suggest you head to bed when you’re done,” he replies. “If I were you, I would not be worrying myself over Mr. Dmitriyev. It’s not uncommon for him to be away for the whole night. Especially if he hasnewcompany.”
New company.
The way he said that, in that obvious way, can only mean he thinks Mikhail is with a woman.
If that’s true, I’m so foolish to worry about him. And even more stupid to make myself look so obvious that a man who can’t stand me was summoned to get me hot chocolate and cookies.
“I wasn’t worried about him,” I lie. “Why worry about him when I have myself to worry about?”
He says something in Russian he knows I won’t understand then marches away and leaves me.
I look down at the cookies and decide to throw them and the hot chocolate away. I don’t want anything from that man.
I feel like such an idiot. What the hell must he think of me?
I’ve been so engrossed in getting from one day to the next that I haven’t paid as much attention to the staff as I should have. The fact that still none of the maids speak to me suggests they’ve already formed their opinions on me. The fact that Aleksander is rude as fuck is also not good.
It means they see no need to respect me, and the only person who would have given them permission to behave like that is Mikhail.
Which takes me right back to the question I asked him the other night about what would happen after the wedding.
You only treat people the way I’m being treated if they’re temporary.
I make my way upstairs, shower, and change for bed. I climb beneath the sheets and try to summon sleep.
It doesn’t come. More hours pass, and instead of sleeping, I think of everything, and my mind keeps going back to the question of what I’m going to do.
Speaking to José would have eased my mind to some extent. I’ve dared not mention his name for fear of what Mikhail would do.
