Fourteen years later, nothing has changed.
“I’m sorry you had to see that happen earlier,” I say to Hannah.
She doesn’t take her eyes off the screen. “It wasn’t your fault.”
“I know, but…”
She turns to look at me. “You really think he did it, don’t you?”
I clear my throat. “Well, I don’t know for sure. I mean—”
“That’s why you hired that guy to scare off all the girls Liam likes.”
My mouth falls open. Hannah knew about that? Ithadn’t even occurred to me she might know. I thought that was my deep dark secret.
“One of them told me.” Her eyes flick back at the television screen. “I assumed you were behind it. Considering you were the one who sent him to the shrink.”
“You know about that?”
“Liam told me.”
I suck in a breath. “I’m really sorry, Hannah. I’m sorry you got caught up in all of this. I promise I’ll do my best to keep you out of it from now on.”
Hannah picks up the remote control and shuts off the television. She faces me now, her eyes filling with tears. “I don’twantto be kept out of it. I just want my brother back home.”
Hannah’s loyalty to Liam is understandable. Whatever else anyone can say about Liam, he’s a good big brother. People warned me when I got pregnant that bringing a newborn home when you’ve already got a two-year-old is a recipe for jealousy. One of my girlfriends told me she constantly had to protect her infant from her toddler.
But it was never like that with Liam and Hannah. The first time I brought Hannah home, he couldn’t stop staring at her. When we finally let him hold her under careful supervision, he was so gentle. He kept stroking her little face with open-mouthed awe.
When she was about four months old, we took her to the park and a big dog rushed to the stroller, barking loudly enough to make Hannah burst into tears. Liam jumped in front of the dog, bravely holding up his hand. “Doggy, no!” he cried. “No hurt my sister!No!”
I don’t know what Liam did or didn’t do to Olivia, but he has always protected his sister.
“It’s going to be okay,” I tell Hannah. “We’re going to get him home.”
Hannah wipes her eyes with the back of her hand. “Do you really believe that, Mom?”
I wish I could say I did. I wish I could tell my daughter that the truth will come out and Liam will go free. But the real truth is, whether or not the truth comes out, I believe Liam will spend the rest of his life in prison.
Chapter Forty-Four
ERIKA
Jason and I get ready for bed in absolute silence.
The only thing we could possibly talk about at this point is the fact that our son is in jail, and it’s all we’ve spoken about for the last several days. It’s the last thing I want to talk about now. I know Jason is still peeved at me for what I said when the police showed up to arrest Liam. But it’s not like I meant to make my son seem guilty. If I could take it back, I would.
I join my husband in the bathroom while he’s brushing his teeth. He’s got the electric toothbrush whirring in his mouth. Five years ago, Jason had a root canal, and after swearing he would never go through something like that again, he purchased an electric toothbrush and about a crate full of dental floss. He’s used them both religiously, and he’s had such good dental visits since then, I switched over to the electric toothbrush lastyear. I do feel like it gets my teeth cleaner, but the annoying part is that we can’t both brush at once anymore. I have to wait for him to be done, then swap out the toothbrush heads.
As I wait, I rinse off my face, although there’s not much to rinse since I didn’t bother with makeup this morning. I let the hot water wash over my skin, trying not to think about what’s going to happen tomorrow. Liam’s bail hearing. Every time I imagine it, I get a sick sensation in the pit of my stomach.
What if he doesn’t make bail? I can’t conceive of not getting to take him home tomorrow. But Landon says I have to accept the possibility that Liam might be in jail for the duration.
Liam in jail. My little boy in jail. Surrounded by murderers and thieves.
“Done,” Jason says, as he hands me the handle of the electric toothbrush.
“Thanks,” I say.
