And for the first time in my life, I realize it’s true. I didn’t even realize how miserable and alone I felt before Matt came into my life. I press my face into his shoulder, and I murmur, “I love you.”
I look up at Matt’s face and see a change come over him. He looks down at me, and for the first time, he also looks truly happy.
“I love you too, Rachel,” he says.
And then something happens that ruins everything.
48
It’s abouttwo weeks before the final exam in anatomy. We’re working on the arms, although I’ve noticed that more and more students are cutting lab in order to study. I can never do that, though. Matt would kill me.
Today, I’m the only one in my lab group of five who showed up. I work my ass off, separating the forearm muscles all by myself. Well, not all by myself—Matt comes by a bunch of times to assist me. Hopefully, nobody notices he spends practically half the lab period at our table.
When the lab ends, I’m dead tired. My back is killing me from leaning over the cadaver—I even managed to inexplicably work up a sweat. I head straight for my locker, hoping to change clothes quickly, go home, and take a long, hot shower, followed by a visit to Matt’s house. But the note stuffed under the door of the locker makes me forget all about my plans.
I know all about you and Dr. Conlon. Put the answers to the final exam under the door of Locker 282 or else everyone will find out the truth.
The note, of course, is unsigned. I crumple it up and stuff it in my pocket, suddenly paranoid that someone else is watching me. There are only a few people in the hallway, and none of them seem to be paying attention to me.
Who would write a letter like this? God, it could be anyone. Our class is full of really competitive people, and in all honesty, a lot of people in the class don’t like me very much. I don’t think I could even come up with a short list of suspects.
I glance down the hallway. The way the lockers are numbered, Locker 282 is all the way down the hall on the right. I slam my own locker door closed and walk in the direction of the locker. It’s one of the top lockers, right in the middle of the row. There’s a combination lock holding the door closed. I peer through the vent in the door, trying to see what’s inside. Of course, all I can see is blackness.
Whoever wrote that letter means business. If someone reports me to the dean, Matt and I willbothbe in a lot of trouble. And how, exactly, am I supposed to explain my honors grade on the second exam after failing the first?
Shit. What the hell am I going to do?
49
The next morning,I show up in the office of Matt’s secretary, Anita. Anita is a grandmotherly woman who Matt says has been with him since he started.
“I don’t know what I’d do without her,” he says sometimes.
She dotes on him like he’s her son (or grandson). Anita is a favorite among the med students, too, mainly because she always keeps a big bowl of candy on her desk, and we’re all hungry. And she smiles a lot.
Anita never has a smile on her face for me though. I’d venture to say she hates me.
When I show up in her office, she practically sneers at me. I’m sure Matt didn’t confide in her about the two of us, but she ran into me a couple of times leaving his office, and she suspects something. And clearly, she doesn’t approve.
“Hi, Anita,” I say, trying to appear as friendly and peppy as possible. I thought about bringing her chocolates but decided it would seem like I’m trying too hard.
“Hello, Rachel,” Anita replies, barely looking up from her computer.
“Um, I’m wondering if you can tell me something,” I begin, tugging at my T-shirt nervously. “Do you know who is assigned Locker 282?”
Anita still doesn’t look up. “No.”
“Is there any way to find out?”
“Locker assignments are confidential,” Anita snaps at me.
“They are?” I never heard that and wonder if it’s true. “Um, do you know when Matt will be here?”
Anita is staring at me. I have no idea why until I realize what I just said. Shit.
“I mean,” I say, blushing bright red, “do you know whenDr. Conlonwill be here?”
Anita narrows her eyes. “No, I don’t.”
