I minimize the photo then flop onto my stomach so that I can call him and take advantage of these warm feelings. It takes seven and a half rings, and he answers just when I’m certain the voicemail will pick up. What is he always doing that he can’t manage to answer the phone in the first few rings?
“Hey,” Landon says.
“Hi. It’s me,” I say.
Thank God, he doesn’t ask who “me” is. And for once, he doesn’t sound distracted.
This relationship could work. It’sgoing towork. Two hundred plus miles isn’t so far for true love.
“Hi…” Landon says.
Actually, he sounds… oddly serious. But whatever. I’m not going to obsess for once. I prefer Serious Landon to the apathetic guy he’s been lately.
“So guess what? I passed my anatomy exam!” I almost get chills when I say it.
“That’s great… I knew you would.”
“So… I thought maybe we could celebrate this weekend,” I say, twirling a lock of hair around my fingertip. I didn’t even notice until now how bitten up my fingernails are. “I could drive in Friday night…”
“I don’t know if this weekend is good,” Landon mumbles.
“Why not?”
There’s a long pause on the other line. Too long. What’s going on? “Landon?”
“I just…” He sighs loudly. “I don’t know what we’re doing anymore. I mean, is this enjoyable for you?”
“It’s not about enjoyment,” I say. “I want to be with you. We both knew the long-distance thing was going to be hard.”
“But…shouldn’tit be about enjoyment? I mean, we’re twenty-two years old. Why shouldn’t we be able to enjoy ourselves?”
Landon might be the love of my life. But at this moment, I hate the bastard.
“I mean, if this isn’t making us happy…”
He’s dumping me. He’sdumpingme! How is this possible? We have been together forover three years! How could he? We love each other, damn it! Unless…
“Is there someone else?”
“No… Well, not really,” Landon stammers. And now I really hate him. “There are other… I mean, aren’t there guys at school thatyou’reinterested in?”
“No!” I say in an affronted voice, although I can’t help but think of Mason.
“I’m sure there are.”
“Go to hell, Landon.”
There’s a long silence on the other line. I grip the phone in my fist, not wanting to be the one to break the silence. If I talk first, he wins. I can’t let him win.
“I need to go study now,” Landon finally says.
“Fine, go study.” I don’t wait for a reply. I hang up the phone and hurl it across the room. It smashes against the wall, and I hear a resoundingcrack.
Well, that was a dumb thing to do.
I try to tell myself that if something as small as being apart for a month could break us up, obviously, it wasn’t true love. We’re just two people who dated a while in college and broke up when life got in the way.
A sudden ache in my chest nearly knocks the wind out of me. I had considered the possibility that Landon and I might break up—of course I had—but I hadn’t imagined how badly it would hurt. The sick, dark feeling seems to consume all theorgans I learned about so far this year—my heart, my lungs, my esophagus. Even my pancreas seems to be aching for Landon.
