“But what? If you don’t tell me this instant, I’m going to push you out of this golf cart.”
“Okay, okay. So Cole wasn’t going to spit roast you with some rando.”
“He wasn’t?”
Tanner shook his head. “Nope. He was going to spit roast you with me.” He pulled a blue bandana out of his pocket. “Did I forget to mention that I’m actually on the blue team?”
“What?!”What the fuck is happening?
“Last night Cole told me how excited you were to get spit roasted, so we came up with a plan to make sure we were the final two members of the blue team. I hope you’re ready for a wild time.” Tanner turned and undressed me with his eyes.
“You’re joking.”
“I’m not.”
“But, but… You two hate each other!”
“We do. But I’m willing to put that aside for your pleasure.”
Oh my God.I couldn’t breathe. All things considered, I’d done a pretty good job of not freaking out all day about my potential punishment. I kept thinking that Tanner would save me. But now, he was going to be the one doing the punishing.Wait a second!I was finally going to get to have sex with Tanner! And Cole. In front of everyone.
It was hard to fully grasp the odd mix of emotions I was feeling. Excitement. Horniness. Sheer terror. Confusion.
Did this mean that Tanner wanted to be with me? Or was this some sort of weird anger bang to get me back for telling him I never wanted to see him again?
“What happened to you wanting to protect me? Just last week you totally freaked out when Cole almost banged me at the casino.”
“I didn’t want to miss out on all the fun.”
“And DODO?”
“Banging you as part of Society Wars won’t tip DODO off that we’re together. Especially if you’re banging Cole too.”
We’re together?I stared at him, trying to process everything he was saying.
“You look skeptical,” said Tanner. “Isn’t this what you want? What are you afraid of?”
“Um… Germs. AIDS. Public speaking. Centipedes. Being late.”
“I feel like most of those don’t apply to this situation.”
“Sure they do.”
Tanner nodded. “Well if it makes you feel any better, both me and Cole have been tested for AIDS. And centipedes don’t really like it out here in the woods. I picture them more in basements.”
None of that matters! I’m not freaking doing this!Right? Or am I going to do this?Because I really, really wanted to be with Tanner. Even though I knew I shouldn’t. “What if I refuse?”
“Then we won’t do it,” replied Tanner like it was the most obvious thing in the world.
“Wait, what?”
“We don’t do it. What kind of rapey perverts do you think we are?”
“The rapiest kind.”
“The Society has a strict no rape policy. Didn’t you read the contract? Rape is clearly prohibited in clause 49c.”
“Oh right.” I’d almost forgotten about that. I’d been kicked out of the Society before for violating that specific clause. Even though it had nothing to do with Incident #2 and Dr. Lyons. Which, for the record, was the only time I’d ever tried to rape someone. And I hadn’t even been successful at it. #RapingMenIsHard. I leaned back in the seat and took a deep breath. I almost even laughed thinking about my epic hashtag usage. Because of the word hard. And how un-hard Dr. Lyons had been when I’d groped him at the doctor’s office.
