“Nigel, what are you wearing?” I asked.
“My workout outfit.” He ran his hand down the fabric. “I’ve had it for decades but it’s still good. They don’t make things like they used to.”
“Decades? Aren’t you like…twenty something?”
“Me?” He looked confused for a moment. “Oh, yes. I’m a young lad. I meant it’s decades old. I stole it from an old person. I’m a little thief.” He wiggled his fingers.
“I’m sorry, what?”
He turned to Tanner, ignoring me. “You called for me, Master?”
“Did you bring your slingshot?” asked Tanner, not at all phased by Nigel admitting to stealing clothing from old men.
“Of course.” He pulled one out of his back pocket.
What the hell?“Why do you have a slingshot?” I asked.
“Cougars.”
I spun around and stared out into the woods. “Are cougars a big problem here?”
“Oh yes,” said Nigel. “But really they’re a problem for me everywhere. Older women love my boyish charm. Although technically they’re not older…”
“Nigel!” yelled Tanner. “Let’s stay focused, please. I need you to shoot the blue runner’s egg off of his spoon.”
Nigel grabbed a stone, aimed, and let it fly.
I could have sworn he missed by like three feet, but the egg still exploded as if it had been hit.
“What the hell?!” yelled the blue runner as he wiped raw egg from his face. “My egg just exploded!”
I started dry heaving at the sight of the egg on his face. But I was pretty pleased with the lead it earned us.
“How’d that happen?” I asked. “Nigel missed, but…”
Tanner and Nigel looked at each other.
“I don’t think he missed,” said Tanner.
“I never miss,” agreed Nigel.
“You definitely missed.” I’d even seen the grass move where the rock had landed.
“Then how did the egg explode?” asked Tanner.
“Magic?” I suggested.
Nigel’s eyes got big. “I’m not a magical boy. I’m a normal boy. Right, Master?”
“Indeed. Nigel is a very normal boy.”
Is he? Is he really?There was absolutely nothing normal about Nigel. And I still had my suspicions that Tanner was a vampire. Could vampires make eggs explode? I didn’t remember seeing anything about that in the literature, but I’d have to double check.
Nigel turned and shot a rock at Chastity too. Right at her butt.
“Ow!” she shrieked and grabbed her ass. She turned and stared daggers at Nigel.
But Nigel had tucked the slingshot into his pocket.
