“Good job.”
“What?!” I screamed. “No! Don’t encourage that behavior.” I hit him with the bikini Nigel had handed me, but there was so little fabric that I didn’t even think he felt it. “Wait, do you really expect me to wear this tiny bikini?”
“Pretty sexy, right?” asked Tanner.
“I’m not running around this camp in a thong.”
“Well I figured you’d wear some jean shorts with it. Nigel, your assistance, please.”
Nigel tossed a pair of jean shorts onto my lap.
Thank God.But wait…I was supposed to be living. And acting wild. And saying yes to everything, even thongs. “Actually, I don’t need these shorts. Single Girl Rule #43: Bikinis are the only acceptable girls’ trip outfit. Er…summer camp outfit.”
Tanner gripped the wheel a little tighter.
Ha! Take that!For the first time ever, Chastity’s ridiculous made-up rules had come in handy. Fine, not the first time. They’d helped me make Tanner jealous before. Which ultimately won him over for a day. I wondered if making him jealous again would get me a 48-hour boyfriend this time.
“Aren’t you gonna change?” asked Tanner.
“Yeah. I’ll change when we get there.”
“Wow. Bold move.”
“What? Why?”
“You’ll see.” He started humming like the conversation was over. But it definitely wasn’t.
“No. Tell me! Why is it a bold move to wait until we get there to change?” I had started to sweat so much thinking of all the crazy things that might happen to me at this sex camp.
“It’s not a big deal, really. Don’t worry about it. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.”
“Enjoy what?! Tell me right this instant!”
“It’s tradition to strip anyone who arrives in business clothes and then throw them in the lake.”
“What?!” I was totally freaking out. I didn’t want to be stripped naked. Or thrown in a lake. I actually wasn’t sure which was more horrifying. I’d read about these brain-eating amoebas that liked to live in lakes…
“Don’t worry,” said Tanner. “It’s all in good fun.” He seemed so relaxed. He wasn’t even gripping the wheel tightly anymore.
Which was suspicious. And it was even more suspicious that Tanner was wearing a suit. And Nigel… I turned to look backat him. “If that’s a tradition, then why is Nigel in his butler’s uniform?”
Nigel gave me ahugegrin. Which made me think that he was very much looking forward to being stripped and thrown into the lake.
“Ugh, never mind. I don’t want to know.”
“I’m good at changing quickly,” said Tanner. “Hopefully you are too.”
I wasn’t. If I tried to change quickly, I’d end up putting both feet through the same leg hole and falling on my face. Or putting the thong on backwards and ending up with the world’s worst front wedgie. Either would be mortifying. But not that bad, really, because it would be Raven Black doing it.Oh God…I didn’t have my wig! Which meant that I was about to have to parade around in a thong bikini as myself.
I turned back to Nigel. “Is my wig in there?”
“Let me check…” Nigel started digging in my suitcase. And then he handed me what looked like a powdered wig from the 1700s.
“What the hell is that?” I asked.
“Your wig, Mistress.”
“Unless we’re going to some weird colonial history camp, then that is not my wig.”
