“My pleasure.”
“I’m sorry again about what I said to you last weekend. I didn’t mean that I never wanted to see you again. I was just still mad at you for leaving.”
“You really don’t believe that I got kidnapped?”
“Not even a little bit.”
“But you saw me get bagged.”
“Mhm. I saw it. And I fell for it. I searched for you all freaking summer, Tanner. Luckily I talked to your friend Matt and he told me that you were just out of town on business.”
“Huh?”
“That’s right. Your best friend blew your cover.”
“Wow. Okay.” He pushed a few buttons on the built-in display and his car started calling Matt. As in Matthew freaking Caldwell. Who I set on fire.The incidentflashed through my mind and I immediately started sweating profusely.
“Hey man,” said Matt. “What’s up?”
Hearing his voice made me want to scream. But also I suddenly wanted to jump out of the car and die. It was hard to choose which reaction was best. Instead I just stared in horror at the dashboard and pretended this wasn’t happening.
“Quick question. What did you say to Ash about me being gone the past few months?”
“Ash? As in the crazy girl who lit my dick on fire?”
Fuck my life.I needed to jump out into oncoming traffic immediately.
“That’s the one,” said Tanner.
I freaking knew that he knew about that! I hadn’t been sure before…but now I was certain the flaming genie penis thing was him just messing with me. Because he knew I set dicks on fire in my free time. Why did he not tell me that he knew what I’d done to his best friend? And why wasn’t he scared of me? I pulled my purse a little closer, happy that I’d remembered my mini fire extinguisher.
“I haven’t talked to her in months,” Matt said. “But her friend Chastity accosted me on the street and asked if I’d heard from you. She was very forward.”
Gah Chastity.Why had she hit on him right in front of his wife?!
“And what’d you tell her?” asked Tanner.
“Uhh…” Matt took a second to think about it. “I told her that sometimes you go abroad for long periods of time to close deals. Which is really getting annoying, by the way. You could at least give me some warning next time.”
“Sure thing. Maybe you could send me a voice message telling me that as your very best friend in the whole world it’s my duty to not leave town without telling you?”
Well that was oddly specific.
Matt laughed. “Hmm…that’s a good point. Rob hasneverleft town without telling me first.”
“What does Rob have to do with this?” asked Tanner. “This is a conversation about best friend behavior.”
Matt laughed again. “I’m not gonna send you that voicemail to help you antagonize Rob. And I have to go. Let’s get together next week though. Later.” He hung up.
I stared at Tanner. “What was that supposed to prove? Other than that someone named Rob is definitely best friends with Matt.”
“No! You take that back. I’m Matt’s best friend.”
“I don’t believe you. Because you’re a liar. Matt even just confirmed it. He said you were away on business, just like he’d told Chastity.”
“Matt doesn’t know anything about DODO. So whenever I have to skip town to avoid DODO agents, I always tell Matt I’m away on business. He must have just assumed it this time.”
“So you admit that you skipped town?” I asked.
