Chastity laughed but didn’t add it to the list of cons. You know…because it was made up. Because everything Tanner said was a lie.
“Okay,” said Chastity. “Moving on to suitor #2: Cole the handsome liftman.”
“I’ve known him for three days and he’s already tried to fuck me in front of an entire casino and tricked me into flashing a bunch of teens. He’s a real keeper.”So why does thinking about him make me feel all giddy?
“Exactly. He’s the perfect candidate for some great rebound sex. It’s at least worth considering his pros and cons.”
PROS
- Tattoos
- Definitely into you
- Super Hot
- Bad Boy Vibes
CONS
- Total Asshole
“I’m seeing a theme here,” I said. Is there something I’m doing to attract super hot assholes?”
“In my experience, those two things generally go together. Except for with your third suitor…”
Column C had a picture of Dr. Lyons at the top.
PROS
- Nine Inch Penis
- Doctor
- Veteran
- Super Hot
- Nice
Well that order says a lot about Chastity’s priorities…
CONS
- None
“No cons? Really? You do remember that I tried to rape him. And that we both cheated on each other with each other and then I ghosted him, right? Oh, and then there was the time that I threw up all over him!” I needed to give her a printout of all my incidents.
“Yes, but I have a feeling he might still be interested.”
“And why would you think that?”
“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because he was willing to pull some strings to get us invited to Club Onyx on the one condition that I do everything in my power to set you two up on another date.”
“Say what now?”
She waved my question aside. “I’ll work out the details later. But first we need to discuss your 4thand final suitor…” She scrolled over to reveal a picture of Mr. Frost.
I shook my head emphatically. “Why is he on the list?”
