“I’ve had close calls with DODO before. But this time, when you bugged my phone…it was different. Because instead of grabbingmy go-bag and running, I grabbed a pen and wrote you a letter. And in that moment, I realized that I cared more about spending one more night with you than I did about DODO bagging me. And I can’t run away from something like that. For once in my life I want to have something real, even if it’s the last thing I do. You’re it for me, Ash. I love you.”
I wiped a tear from my cheek. That was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to me. “Is this real life?” I asked. “Please tell me I’m not having another crazy vampire sex dream?”
He smiled and kissed me. And kissed me. And kissed me some more. Just as I reached for the button on his tuxedo shorts, a horrible whooping sound filled the air. Then people started screaming as glass shattered.
“What the hell is that?” I asked.
One of the Spaceboy drones dropped out of the sky and smashed on the deck a few feet in front of us. It was followed by a lederhosen-clad monkey. He did a little roll and then sprung to his feet. I couldn’t see his eyes under his space helmet, but I was pretty sure the little pervert was staring right at my towel.
“The monkeys got free!” yelled a woman running towards us. One monkey jumped on her shoulders while another tore her bikini top off. “Ahhh!”
Another woman befell a similar fate a second later. And someone else jumped into the river to avoid the monkeys.
More crashing and screaming. Everyone started running around. More people jumped into the water. I watched asanother monkey lifted up some girl’s skirt and slapped her butt. God, those handsy little monkeys were ruining the launch party!
“Do something!” I screamed to Tanner as more people hurled themselves into the freezing water.Fuck!This was being live-streamed to people all over the world!
Tanner lowered his eyebrows and just watched the scene unfold.
How was he so calm right now? I watched as one of the monkeys stole some man’s toupee and started sashaying around like they were channeling Homeless Rutherford. I wanted to laugh. Or cry. What the hell was happening?
“Tanner!” I screamed as one of the monkeys swung a sword around that he must have stolen from the armory. The little guy started running toward us.
“Enough,” said Tanner. Then he snapped his fingers and all the monkeys stopped. It was like they were frozen. They looked so docile and cute after almost destroying the whole boat and sexually assaulting all the guests. The one running toward us dropped his sword and sat down.
“How did you…?”
Tanner smiled at me. His voice must have been so commanding that all the monkeys just obeyed him. He was such a boss. A hot, sexy, total boss.
But then his smile disappeared behind a thick black bag. Someone dressed in all black commando gear pulled him backwards off the side of the boat and into a little dinghy. It wasalready speeding away by the time I could process what had just happened.
Oh fuck.“Tanner!” I screamed and ran to the railing.Oh God.No.“Tanner!” But the boat had disappeared into the darkness faster than I thought possible.
I couldn’t care less about the disaster of a party behind me. Tanner had just been taken. By…DODO.I think.Or maybe it was Club Onyx? Damn it! I had no idea. But those assholes had just stolen my boyfriend!
Not on my watch.Whoever they were. Whatever they were. They’d messed with the wrong girl. Because I was a great freaking stalker. And they were about to get stalked so good. Tanner had nothing to fear.
I picked up the sword that the pervert monkey had dropped.I got this.
***
