“Literally every female is a daughter. Can we please stop wording it that way?”
“Maybe.” I stared at him some more, hoping he’d spill the rest of his secrets. I was so close to learning everything.
“Wait…” he frowned as he stared at me. “How do you know about DODO?”
Oh shit.
Stalker Problems - Chapter 50 - Matthew Freaking Caldwell
Wednesday – May 31, 2023
I tried my best to stall. I looked around the dark tunnel he’d pulled me into. But there was nothing to throw or anything. The fire extinguisher in my purse was calling to me. I could just grab it and spray it everywhere as a diversion… “Ash, how do you know about DODO?” he asked again.
Fuck everything.The lie was tearing me up inside. And making my outside sweat profusely. I couldn’t hold it in any longer! “Because I was the one who tapped your phone. It was all me. And I’d do it again because clearly I’ve lost my mind and your stalkery ways have rubbed off on me. I saw everything. I heard everything. Including your call with Marty.”
“Are you serious!?” said Tanner. He was practically screaming. But not in an angry way. He kind of seemed overjoyed.
“Yes?” This felt like a trap.
He grabbed my face and kissed me. God, I loved the taste of his lips on mine. And it was refreshing to smell his blueberry skin rather than the pungent stench of the Manhattan Menagerie.
“Jesus, Ash. Next time you want to betray my trust and rifle through all of my personal documents, just ask. Do you have any idea how freaked out I’ve been since I got that phone call from Marty? I couldn’t sleep at all last night. And I’ve been looking over my shoulder all day expecting someone to pop out of a vanand shove a bag over my head. That was how it happened with old Herbert. Those bastards nabbed him right outside of his Upper East Side apartment just last year.”
“Is he okay?”
“No he’s not okay! No one has seen or heard from him since.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay. He was more of an acquaintance, really. But knowing that they grabbed him so close to here definitely made me nervous.”
“I still don’t understand why you can’t just pay them off. And what does DODO even stand for?”
“The less you know, the safer you are. I’ve already told you too much. Just know that I’m doing everything in my power to get them off my back.”
“But…”
“Do you trust me?”
I wanted to. But I barely knew anything about him. I searched his eyes. He looked so sincere. “Maybe.” Probably.Yes.It was stupid, but I did. Tanner had done nothing but lie to me ever since I’d met him. And yet…he also protected me and did a bunch of sweet stuff too. Clearly he was actually in danger. I’d almost given him a heart attack by making him think I was a DODO agent.
“Well you should. Because these monkeys would beperfectfor the party.”
Wait, what?
He pointed to the monkeys that had stealthily surrounded us while we’d been talking. They were each like three feet tall and absolutely adorable. But they had nothing to do with DODO. Was Tanner high?
“Huh?” I asked.
Tanner nodded his head towards Claude approaching.
Ah, gotcha.“Okay, I trust you,” I said. Hopefully I played along quick enough so that Claude didn’t realize we had been talking about something else.Is Claude really a DODO agent?And just like that, Tanner had added another fear to my list. I just had to decide if I was more scared of being nabbed by DODO or having a centipede crawl up my leg. “I’ll agree to get the monkeys on one condition,” I added to really sell our change of topic.
“Name it,” said Tanner.
“We have to get at least two dozen of them. And they have to all wear little space helmets.” The image just popped into my head. And as soon as it did, I knew it had to happen. It was so perfect. If this party didn’t go viral, I’d willingly turn myself over to DODO and let them melt me in a vat of acid.
“Did you just come up with that right now?” asked Tanner.
