Joe sighed. “I don’t know, Ash.”
“Was it this?” I asked. “Rosalie going missing? Chastity says I kind of changed after that.”
“You want the truth?”
“Yes.” I looked back up at him. “God, yes.” I needed to know why I hadn’t been good enough. Because I wasn’t sure how to move on when I felt so…unwanted. I hated that feeling. Of just being stuck. And ever since Chastity had brought it up, a piece of me wondered if that was why I was chasing Tanner. Because he swore he couldn’t be in a relationship with me for my own safety. We’d never move forward. We’d always be stuck. I swallowed hard.
“That might have played a small part. But we were doomed before that. I’m not sure we were ever really right for each other.”
“Then why’d you propose to me?”
“I think I just got caught up in the moment. I was intrigued by your innocence. And your refusal to have sex until marriage. It made you kind of a forbidden fruit that I just had to pluck.”
I gagged a little. “Gross.”
“We were in college. We were young. I don’t know what to say.”
“Apologizing would be a good start.”
“I’m sorry. Rosalie was right - I’m an asshole.”
I laughed.Yes, you are.I considered asking about Sierra. About him cheating on me. But what could I really say?Do you love her? Were you really fucking her almost our entire marriage?I knew the answers to both of those. Yes, and yes. Hearing him say it would just make it more real. And I couldn’t handle that. Not today.
“Maybe I will take one of those cupcakes after all,” I said.
Joe smiled and put the box on my lap. “Be my guest. I even brought you a fork.”
I flipped open the lid and stabbed a delicious-looking banana protein cupcake (one of my best recipes, thank you very much). I was about to take a big bite when I noticed a picture taped to the inside of the lid. No, not just any picture. A picture of me. Naked. Touching myself on our bed. It was a screenshot from the sex tape I’d made for him.
“What the fuck?” I said, slamming the lid shut in case any strangers happened to be walking by. My heart was beating sofast that it actually hurt. Or maybe it hurt because for just a second, I had thought Joe wasn’t actually the most evil person on the planet.
“What?” asked Joe, acting totally innocent.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know what I’m talking about.”
“Oh. The picture?”
“Yes.”
He opened the lid and looked at it. “It’s a great picture. I’m thinking it’ll be what I use for the thumbnail when I post your video to Pornhub.”
My body felt like it was on fire. “Are you fucking kidding me? I gave you everything you asked for,” I hissed.
“You did. But then you stole my credit card and spent…“ He pulled a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and scanned down it with his finger. “…$213,436.”
“Dude, that wasn’t me. It was probably your instawhore.”
Joe glared at me. “How dare you talk about Sierra like that?”
“How dareI? How dareyoufuck her for four years behind my back. What’d she spend the money on? Another pair of fake tits? Or maybe more Botox?”
“Youspent the money on Odegaards. Chastity convinced you to go on a little shopping spree, huh?”
Oh shit.Tanner hadn’t used Joe’s card when we were together at the boutique. He’d said it was declined. But he’d never given it back to me. Was it possible he used it to buy me all those shoes later? I tried to hide my look of guilt, but it was too late.
“I knew it,” said Joe.
“Knew what? I swear it wasn’t me.” My voice cracked.
