Stalker Problems - Chapter 33 - Super Sexy Lunch Date
Sunday – April 16, 2023
I wish I could tell you that I spent the day after my date floating around on cloud nine. A super hot soldier turned doctor who might also be a superhero had spent all night cuddling me and watching Gossip Girl. Gossip Girl! That was like…every girl’s dream. And yet, all I could think about all day was Joe and Sierra.
Even thinking about their names made me feel sick to my stomach.Four years?I hated them. And I hated that I was even upset about it. But every good memory I had of Joe during that time had just been destroyed. That vacation we took to Vegas after selling a million dollars’ worth of cupcakes? Trash. The time we’d rented a hotel room just for the hell of it and had wild sex…Oh God.A horrible thought occurred to me. He had been banging Sierra that whole time. And she definitely had all sorts of horrible STDs. I could tell just by looking at her. Which meant I did too now.
AIDS, chlamydia, gonorrhea. I probably had all of it.
I texted Chastity the bad news and then started searching WebMD for STD symptoms.
Did I have lower belly pain?Sometimes.
Sore throat?Now that I’m thinking about it…I could use a cough drop.
Pus or a watery/milky discharge from my penis?No, but only because I don’t have one.Oh no…am I going to grow one? Is that possible?
I was spiraling. I knew it, but I couldn’t help myself. I kept reading symptoms. And I literally had all of them.
Chastity called me just in time to stop a total mental breakdown.
“I have all the STDs. I’m dying,” I said into the phone.
“Whoa, slow down,” said Chastity. “Did you bang Dr. Lyons?”
“What? No. Why would you think that?”
“Well you were just on a date. And I got there late, so you might have hooked up in the bathroom before I arrived. What other conclusion should I have come to?”
“Joe’s been fucking Sierra for four years.”
“Oh. That. Yeah…that’s gross. Let me quote Madison from last night to make you smile: ‘I’m going to fucking kill that asshole and shove his dick down his throat.’ It was kind of epic.”
“I definitely have all the STDs, right?” I asked.
“That would have been my first thought too. But weren’t you tested just a few days ago at your spa appointments?”
“Oh my God! Yes!” I gasped for air, finally able to breathe again, and did a little happy dance. I was STD-free! For the first time, I was grateful for my weird Society spa appointments.
“Now that we’ve cleared that up,” said Chastity, “I need to know… Did you or did you not bang Dr. Lyons before I arrived at the restaurant?”
“We did something way better.” The relief of not having STDs actually made me sigh.
“Anal?!”
“What? No. He came over last night after you called me. He brought me bread pudding and we watched Gossip Girl all night.”
“Hmm…well, let’s pretend like you did bang. That’ll make Tanner more jealous.”
Tanner.My stomach flipped over. Going on a date with Dr. Lyons was supposed to make Tanner jealous. But I’d forgotten all about that because I’d ended up having a really great time with Dr. Lyons. Really, really great. My stomach flipped again. “What do you want me to do? Email Tanner about it?” Would that make him jealous? Did I even want him to be jealous anymore? I bit the inside of my lip.
“Oh, right, you don’t know.”
“Know what?”
“Bee called me a few minutes ago. Tanner signed the contract.”
He’d signed the contract? I pulled out my phone to see if I’d been unterminated from the Society too. And sure enough…the TaxCodes app was working properly again.Huh.Storming into his office had actually worked. Somehow.
