“Touché. I love that you’re on board with all the Single Girl Rules all of a sudden. But what are you so nervous about?” asked Chastity.
“I mean…I went on a date two nights ago and it didn’t exactly go as planned. What if I kiss Dr. Lyons and then he runs away and never speaks to me again?”Or I try to rape him again.“And we don’t need to speak aboutthe incident.”
“Oh my God. Just bang Matthew Caldwell already and get it over with.”
“He’s married.”
“Whatever. It doesn’t matter. You’re not going to light anyone on fire this time. Plus, you have your new fire extinguisher now.”
That I did. It was safely in my purse and I couldn’t be happier.
“And anyway,” said Chastity, “that was like a million years ago.”
“Six months ago.”
She waved her hand through the air. “Besides, your last date was with a…vampire? Or werewolf. Or maybe a Martian. I’m still not sure, but you’re still alive. And following Single Girl Rule #34, I’ll tag along just to make sure nothing terrible happens. Plus, I can keep reading the literature while I spy on you.”
Now that was a solid plan.
Stalker Problems - Chapter 31 - The Fourth Incident
Saturday – April 15, 2023
Dr. Lyons was waiting for me outside the restaurant. He looked great in crisp blue slacks and a white button-down.
He took my hand to help me out of the Uber.What a gentleman.Also, it was good that Chastity had taken a separate Uber so that she could pick up Madison on the way. Otherwise we would have been caught red-handed with her spying. Which would have been awkward. And I was going to try really hard not to be awkward on this date. The last thing I needed was to repeat Incidents #1-3. Specifically Incident #2 because that involved both Dr. Lyons and rape. I tried not to visibly shudder.
“You look stunning,” he said.
I better in this $2000 dress.“And you look quite handsome.”
“Shall we?” He put his hand on the small of my back and led me into the restaurant.
The hostess seated us at a cute little table next to a fish tank. We both immediately buried our heads in our menus. An awkward silence took hold of our table. And as much as I wanted it to release its grip, I was unable to speak.Oh God, oh God.This was my worst nightmare. Were we just going to sit in silence the whole night? I had to say something. I’d just promised myself I wouldn’t be awkward.Think.
“Nice place,” I said. My voice cracked halfway through.
Dr. Lyons looked up from his menu. “Yeah.”
Really? That’s all you have to say?
He cleared his throat. “One of my friends recommended it. And I saw on yelp that they said it was nice and spacious. I hate when you go somewhere and end up bumping elbows with the couple next to you.”
“I know! That’s the worst.” I saw Chastity and Madison walk into the restaurant. Madison saluted me and then they somehow convinced the hostess to give them the table right next to ours, which was way too close! What were they doing? Were they trying to get caught spying on my date? “Chastity,” I hissed in my head. Except Dr. Lyons lowered his eyebrows, so maybe I’d accidentally said it out loud.
“Who?”
I cleared my throat to stall as I gave my friends a death glare. “My friend Chastity. She knows all about sitting too close.” Hopefully she’d heard that and would move. I couldn’t have a normal date with them sitting literally right next to me. “We…er…went to this cute little French café a few weeks ago and the tables were so close that we could hear every word the couple next to us was saying. We didn’t talk the whole time. We just listened to the couple talk about how much they hated their youngest child. Her name was Mia and they called her Meatball because she was so chunky. I could tell you her entire life story. Although she was only two months old, so it’s not a very long story.”
Dr. Lyons laughed. “So you like eavesdropping on people, huh?”
“It can be fun.” I tried to keep my eyes trained on him even though I could just barely hear Chastity and Madison discussing Twilight. God, that meant that they could hear me. And they were going to critique me later. Just the thought made me want to end the date right now. Where was a candle when a girl needed one?
“What do you think that couple’s saying?” Dr. Lyons pointed to an older couple - probably in their 70s.
At least Dr. Lyons was good at distracting me. I watched the couple for a second to get a feel for their conversation. “The lady just said that they should order dessert to go so that he can lick it off her body.”
“Right? I had a feeling that’s what they were talking about.”
