“Not that I know of.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure. Because the other night you looked amazing in those heels. At least try them on.”
“If you don’t, I will,” said Frankie.
“Fine.” I kicked off my lame shoes and put on the sky-high heels.
“What other lies did your ex tell you?” Ryder asked as I fumbled with the straps.
“Who knows. Until five seconds ago, I didn’t even realize the shoe thing was a lie.” Chastity had hinted at it, but for some reason the way Ryder looked at me made me actually believe him.
“If he was such a jerk, why’d you stay with him?” Ryder knelt to tighten one of the straps. “Was he some sort of sex god?”
I laughed. “Ha. Not even close.”
“He never even gave her an orgasm,” said Frankie.
What? How did she know that? And why is she saying it out loud? Gosh darn it, Frankie!
“But Dr. Lyons is going to fix that Saturday night in the ball pit,” she added.
Sex in the ball pit? The thought made me want to throw up in my mouth. I could just picture flailing around and getting a used AIDS needle stuck in my ass. That sorta thing happens in ball pits, by the way. So don’t have sex in them. Or go in them at all. Or let your kids in them. Really they should all just be burned.
“Have you really never had an orgasm?” asked Ryder.
My face started turning red again. “Of course I have.”
Ryder shook his head. “You definitely haven’t.”
“Why do you think that?” I asked. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. My knees looked completely unknobbly. I looked…hot. But my face was still getting redder by the second talking about my sex life. Or lack of one.
“I can just tell.”
“I think you’re the one who’s never had an orgasm.” It was a terrible comeback, but it was the only thing I could think of. I needed to change the topic immediately. “Shut up and find me more clothes.” I ran away and locked myself in the dressing room.
Ryder brought me tons more clothes. Dresses, yoga pants, slacks, bikinis. And I felt confident and beautiful in all of it. I could get used to shopping at fancy boutiques.
“Alright,” said Ryder. “Your appointment is almost over, but we have time for one more thing.” He tossed me some black lingerie. The blue dress from earlier had been complicated, but this was on an entirely different level. It was a mishmash ofrings, straps, and fabric. Actually, there wasn’t much fabric. It was just rings and straps.
“Ooh la la,” I said. “I’m definitely gonna need help putting that on.”
“I thought you might say that.” His voice was dripping with desire. He totally thought he was gonna get to see me naked.
I turned and walked into the changing room. Ryder followed, but I put my hand on his chest - his very muscular chest - and stopped him at the door. “Nice try, but I think I’ll have Frankie help me.”
Frankie walked past him and closed the door in his face. “That was perfect!” she whispered.
“Really?”
“Yes. You’ve got him wrapped around your finger.” She tried to organize the straps on the lingerie as I stripped down. A few days ago I would have been super uncomfortable with Frankie seeing me naked. I still kind of was. But changing in front of Frankie hardly seemed daunting after getting waxed, trying to rape Dr. Lyons, and that horrifying elevator incident that I really should not ever mention again. Crap, was that officially Incident #3? Yes, yes it was. That poor bastard’s face when we’d made eye contact was going to haunt my dreams.
Even so, I put the lingerie on as quickly as possible. It took Frankie like five minutes to get all the straps situated correctly.
“Damn you look hot,” said Frankie. “Now put on the rest of your clothes and let’s go.”
“Isn’t that shoplifting? Joe’s best friend tried to steal a pair of tights from Sports Authority his senior year by hiding them under his other clothes. They caught him and he lost his scholarship because of it.”
“Uh, cool. But we’re gonna pay for it, so it’s not a big deal.”
