Chastity shook her head. "You know he just didn't want you to be taller than him, right?"
Oh my God.She was right. "That little asshole!" How had I not seen it sooner? I couldn’t believe I had been missing out on fun shoes just because of Joe's stupid insecurities.
"Good thing you wished for revenge on Joe and free shoes. Speaking of which, how do you think those wishes fit into the whole real estate thing?"
"Maybe I'll break a heel walking between apartments and my muscular realtor will come to my rescue."
Well, you're certainly not going to break one of those two-inch heels. Here, try these on." Chastity unbuckled her strappy, floral print heels and tossed them to me.
I dodged to the side and the six-inch stiletto stuck in the wall behind me. "Jesus. Be careful with those things. You could have punctured my liver."My greatest fear.Sometimes it felt like public speaking, germs, or being late was at the top of my list of greatest fears. But that was just in the moment. When I was calm and not about to jump in a dumpster it was easy to think clearly. My greatest fear was definitely the punctured liver thing. God, that was truly terrifying. "Anyway, I think those are a few sizes too big."
"Sorry." She pried it loose from the wall. "Do we have time to swing by Fifth Avenue before 8:30? I feel like Raven Black is going to be the kind of girl who rocks heels."
Yasss!"She definitely is. But no, we don't." Then I remembered something. Hadn’t there been a clause about getting a role description before each wish?
I grabbed my phone and went to the app. Sure enough, aWish Detailsbutton had appeared in place ofRSVP. It had the same address and time as before, but there was a new paragraph at the bottom. I read it aloud. "Raven Black. You recently got divorced and are seeking a fresh start in a new apartment."Damn.I had been hoping they were going to make me something cool. Like a secret agent looking for an apartment that shared a wall with an international drug lord. The truth wasn't nearly as fun.
"So basically you're just you," said Chastity.
"I guess so. At least the role-playing won't take much effort."
“What’s in here?” asked Chastity as she pulled a bag out of the back of my closet.
“Don’t…” I started, but it was too late. She’d already untied it and pulled out one of my little sister’s dresses.
“Damn, this is hot. Is this what you and Joe were into?”
“No." I bit the inside of my lip so I wouldn’t burst into tears. "Those were Rosalie’s clothes.”
“Oh.” Chastity looked away.
Rosalie was my little sister. She’d been my very best friend in the whole wide world. Three years ago, she’d vanished. And a little piece of my heart had vanished with her.
Chastity folded the dress up and shoved it back in the bag. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I said, holding back the tears. It was pathetic, but even after three years it was still hard to be reminded of her. I still hoped she would come back. And then it hit me.Of course.I don't know how I didn't realize it sooner. “Chastity. What if she’s the one behind these envelopes?”
Chastity put her hand on mine. “Don’t do this again.”
“Do what?”
“You know what.”
I pressed my lips together. I knew what. After Rosalie had disappeared, I kept seeing signs from her everywhere. But none of them turned out to be real. As my therapist helped me realize, it was all just wishful thinking. Just like this was now.She’s gone. She’s not coming back.I took a deep breath, but tears still threatened to spill from my eyes. “Can you give me a few minutes?”
Chastity nodded and left me alone in my room.
I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I grabbed the bag and looked through Rosalie’s clothes. They still smelled like her oil paints. I hadn't touched anything in this bag since I’d packed up Rosalie's life. I remembered shoving her belongings in the back of mycloset, hating the fact that everything she owned fit into a few bags.
It wasn't right. Rosalie's presence had been greater than life. She’d filled up every room with her laughter. Honestly, she was the opposite of me. I sat down next to the bag that Chastity had opened. Rosalie had been fearless. I lifted another dress from the bag. It was even more inappropriate than the first. Part of me wanted to put it on. Maybe being a little like Rosalie while I pretended to be Raven Black was exactly what I needed. But just holding the fabric in my hands made me cry. I wasn't ready. And despite what Chastity and my therapist thought...I didn't think I'd ever be able to admit that she was really gone. Everyone else had given up on her. I couldn't do that. And I’d keep her things here with me until she came back and needed them.
I placed the dress back in the bag and shoved it back in the corner of my closet. I took a deep breath to clear my head. Rosalie would have wanted me to put myself out there. She'd want me to keep living my life. I opened one of my drawers and picked out something that was more me. I wasn't going to pretend to be a different person just because I had a fake Society name. If I'd learned anything from Rosalie, it was that our time to live was limited. I wasn't going to waste any more of mine.
A few outfit changes later I settled on a fitted T-shirt with a panda graphic, my favorite jeans, and some neon green flats with a pattern that looked like bamboo. When I came back out of my closet, Chastity smiled. A fake one.
She clearly hated my outfit, but to her credit, she held her tongue. Instead she focused all her energy on covering my face inway too much makeup and figuring out how to get my black wig to stay.
When she finally let me look in the mirror, I hardly recognized myself. From the neck up, I looked more like the spin class trophy wives than I ever had before. Well, kind of. I was wearing as much makeup as they did. And my hair was dark and shiny and voluminous. For a few weeks there after the divorce, I’d been pretty down on myself. I would have seen a plain girl that no makeup could fix. But now? I smiled. I was me with an awesome wig. I was already comfortable in my skin when I wasn’t setting men on fire. But being Raven Black gave me an extra boost.
