"Deal."
We finished our burgers and then attempted to make it look like none of the boxes of Monopoly had been opened.
It took us at least 10 trips to carry all the games down to Chastity's car.
And it was going to take us just as many trips to carry them all back up since all the stores rejected the returns. Well, not all. Chastity said one store in a particularly sketchy part of the city took back three of them for store credit. But the rest could tell that they'd already been opened. Eight stores in, the cashier at a CVS told Chastity that they weren't accepting returns of any Monopoly games because it had been flagged as organized retail crime.
"And the wig place?" I asked.
"Apparently Amy just started working there.”
“Huh, I haven’t talked to her in a while. I should reach out.” She and her husband had been best couple friends with Joe and me. But I hadn’t really heard from them since the divorce.
Chastity looked away. “Maybe don’t?”
“Why?”
“Let’s just say I think Joe got her and Bill in the divorce.”
“Why?” I asked again. I needed details.
“Did you guys have a fight? She told me I shouldn’t hang out with you. I think the wordshomewreckeranddumb slutwere used. Did you sleep with Bill?”
“What the hell? No! Joe must be telling people that the divorce is my fault.”And thanks to the blackmail, I can’t do a damned thing about it.I clenched my fists. I wanted nothing more than to punch Joe right in his stupid lying face.
“Wow. What an asshole.”
“Whatever, he’s dead to me.” The divorce was the last thing on my mind right now. I was a little preoccupied with all the Monopoly games Chastity couldn’t offload.
“Well…anyway, she wouldn’t accept the return. Apparently they have a NO RETURNS policy. Although I have a sneaking suspicion that it only applies to us.” Chastity tossed me the bag with the wig and then loaded me up with four Monopoly boxes.
"We have to find a different way then. Maybe I can sell them two for $50, kind of like that homeless dude with the Oreos." It had happened a few months ago, but it was so strange that I could still picture it perfectly. Chastity, Madison, and I had been walking to get some Thai food when this guy holding two boxes of Oreos had approached us and said, "Two for $3." We respectfully declined his offer. "I always wondered how he had been able to offer us such a good deal,” I said. “Now we know. He must have signed up for a sex club that uses Oreos as currency, drunkenly bought a million boxes of them, and then had buyer's remorse."
Chastity laughed. "At least someone can eat two boxes of Oreos. Two boxes of Monopoly, on the other hand, are completely useless."
"Maybe we can convince someone that it's good to always have a back-up."
"Oh yeah, that'll totally work."
"Do you have any better..." As we walked into my apartment, my left foot slid out from underneath me. I tossed the four Monopoly boxes in the air and ended up on my ass. "What the hell?" I muttered. I had just cleaned everything. What could I possibly have slipped on?
"Looks like the Society paid us a little visit while we were downstairs." Chastity bent down and picked up the lacy black envelope that I had just slipped on.
Stalker Problems - Chapter 13 - #HorseFacts
Tuesday – April 11, 2023
Seeing the envelope made my stomach churn with a combination of nerves and excitement. Or maybe that cheeseburger was just coming back to haunt me. Greasy food didn't always agree with me.
Chastity opened the envelope and read, "Ms. Black, I've found a few places that might be just what you're looking for. If you're free tonight at 8:30, I'd love to show them to you. Signed Frankie Underwood of Frankie Underwood Realty." She passed me the envelope. "What do you think it means?"
"It sounds like this Frankie fellow is going to take me to some grimy apartment and try to get in my pants."
"Ohhh, hot. He'll probably offer you a few months' rent if you blow him. #WorthIt."
"I won't need to. Not when I walk in armed with a suitcase full of Monopoly money. The joke’s on him."
Chastity gave me an exaggerated frown. "Boo. Where's the fun in that?"
