I shifted on my feet when I heard someone walk behind us, and turned to see Merrick, his own blue eyes unreadable. I wished to put my hand on his shoulder—hug him, too. But I couldn’t do shit in these cuffs.
“How—” I started.
“I’m fine,” Merrick said quietly. Elowen looked at him with tearful eyes and decided to walk away at his silence.
“I can’t say I’m upset he’s dead,” Merrick muttered as I turned to face him once again. The cool breeze blew his silver-white stands that were loose in front of his face, and his eyes were glazed over momentarily before he met my stare. “I hated that man. But I hurt for Elowen, even if I can’t feel her emotions right now.” He let out a shaky exhale. “Thank the Gods I can’t. The same goes for all the mourning people here…”
I raised my cuffed hands and brushed my thumb against his cheek. “I know what you’re thinking, Merrick. And no, you aren’t horrible for how you feel about your father.”
He clenched his jaw and just stared into my eyes before giving me a soft smile.
“Sometimes I wonder if you have his gift,” he said gently.
I returned the smile. I knew he was referring to Torrin and his ability to read minds. We would never mention his name, not in front of Otacian soldiers, anyway. Torrin had a bounty over his head after fleeing Otacia.
I dropped my hand and turned to survey the area, and then I met Silas’s burning stare.
Ice-cold rage.
He doesn’t think Merrick and me…
I loved Merrick. He was my rock, someone who truly understood me, whether it was because he could feel every emotion I did or because we were kindred spirits. Both of us endured a lot at a young age. He took care of me, just as Torrin did, and I’ll always be in debt to him.
And Merrick was a beautiful man, just like his cousin. He was kind and loving, despite the coldness or sarcasm he masked himself with. I knew masking all too well. Merrick expressed feelings for me years ago, about a year after arriving in Ames. It was heartbreaking turning him down…
Because perhaps we would have been a good match. But my heart belonged elsewhere. The thought of another man felt like a betrayal at the time. I didn’t sleep with anyone after Silas until the day I heard he had gotten married. I just wanted a distraction, to feel anything other than pure devastation. Merrick’s friendship meant too much to me for me to consider bedding him, as attractive an idea as it would’ve been.
And Torrin…
I didn’t wish to think of it.
His eyes flickered away as he angled his horse north. The majestic, ebony creature's beauty perfectly matched his.
The soldier who had detained Merrick, a tanned, brown-haired man named Roland, addressed our people. “We will now begin the journey to our kingdom where you are all to be hanged. Consider it a mercy.” A smug smile traced his face when his hazel eyes met mine.
Prick.
“Let the march begin!”
Chapter Thirty-Three
WhenMother,Torrin,andI traveled from Otacia to Ames, the journey took us almost two months. How did they expect to travel that long with all these people? To feed us all?
Perhaps they’ll just let us die off.
My heart sank at the thought.
We marched and marched for what seemed like ages, through forests and over hills, taking short breaks in between until the sun was fully set and the moon was bright above us. It had to be around midnight when we finally stopped.
As the Otacian soldiers began to set up their own camp, I heard voices behind me asking each other where we would sleep. We were all huddled together in the dark by the time Silas and his men were relaxing with multiple tents set up, roaring fires, and meats being cooked, the fragrance taunting our own rumbling stomachs. They didn’t care if we were warm or comfortable. To them, we were disposable, lives that would be ending soon anyway.
I couldn’t rest with all the teeth chattering, including my own. I looked at all my people now lying uncomfortably in the moonlight, unable to ignore the silent sobbing coming from many of them.
I had to do something. I was their Supreme, after all.
I struggled to get up on two feet, my legs wobbling from exhaustion. I uneasily started toward the camp, aiming for where Silas was, doing my best to ignore my increasing heart rate.
I slid on mud as I made my way, swaying and thankfully catching myself before I ate shit.
