Therestoftheafternoon was spent throwing fireballs in a river just outside of Ames’s border. Gods was I pissed.
Poor Torrin…why didn’t he speak with me? At least to tell me where he was going…
I sighed. Probably because he knew I wouldn’t let him go. Godsdamn bastard. I owed him everything—for Mother’s and my safe passage here, for my training, for my new home. He didn’t deserve to essentially be kicked out.
And for what? Silas had moved on. Even if he was my apparent Soul-Tie, people love and get married to people who aren’t their fated mate all the time.
I shot out blasts repeatedly, crying out in anger. The flames still raged inside of me; the release of my power was futile in extinguishing the pain. Tears poured down my face, and when my vision became too blurred to see straight, I stopped, my arms sagging at my sides.
“Are you alright?” a voice asked softly.
I turned slowly, blinking the fresh tears out of my eyes. There stood Mother, looking at me with concern etched on her face. The spring air blew around us, Mother’s bangs and shoulder-length copper hair blowing in the wind.
“No. No, I am not.” My lip trembled, and I gazed back at the river. Mother stepped beside me, and we both stared off in silence before she linked her hand with mine.
“What happened?” she asked gently.
I wiped my nose with the back of my free hand. “Igon is a filthy liar. That is what happened.”
Mother’s head quickly pivoted, and I willed myself not to set every tree in the vicinity on fire.
“He told mehewas the one who sent Torrin away, after all this time.”
Mother gasped, her hand shooting over her mouth. “I don’t understand…why? Why the hell would he do that?”
I let out a humorless laugh. “I suppose anyone who makes me happy has to be taken away.” And to that comment, my cheeks heated. I had never told anyone what occurred between me and Torrin last year. Thankfully, Mother didn’t press. “You know how seers are,” I continued. “They can’t tell you anything directly. He won’t even let me know where he is…” My lip quivered, and sure enough, more tears followed. I shook my head. “Igon didn't appreciate Torrin's affection toward me, considering he isn't my Soul-Tie.” I released another dry laugh. “Torrin is so loyal to what everyone else wants of him—never doing anything for himself. I know he didn’t wish to leave his home. He was so happy when we finally made it back here. And now he’s gone…and it is all my fault.”
Mother squeezed my hand. “No, Lena. It is not your fault.” I went to shake my head, and then she took my other hand in hers and made me face her. “Torrin is a grown man capable of making his own choices.” She paused as if debating on what to say next. “I…”
“Just say it,” I muttered as I stared at the ground.
“I was just thinking about Soul-Ties…and how…how I don’t think anything would have kept Silas from you,” she said quietly.
I froze. I hated that my tears continued to pour. “I’ve kept away from him,” I replied, my voice just above a whisper. “What does that say of me?”
“You know it isn’t so simple. It’s life or death for you. It wasn’t for Torrin.”
I wiped my eyes, and even though my heart ached, my internal flames felt contained, or rather ice was now taking over. “It’s not like it matters. Silas is taken now. I will never have him.”
Mother pulled me into a hug, and I weakly returned the gesture. We stayed by the river for a while longer until I felt composed enough to return to the town.
Ever since our arrival in Ames, we’ve had dinner with the Astair family. Merrick had always skipped dinner with them, seeing as though he loathed his father, but as he and I grew closer, he decided to join in since I’d be there. Elowen really appreciated it, too, as she loved Merrick’s company.
Heildee and Vicsin were nearly done cooking, and Merrick and I were finishing setting the large oak table in their dining room. Mother usually would help Heildee as they both loved cooking, and sometimes Elowen, Merrick, or I would take over dinner duty. There were a handful of times Torrin and I had together as well.
I knew Mother had begun seeing a man in town named Phillip the past few weeks, and I assumed she was probably with him this evening. I was happy she found someone, as new of a relationship as it was. I gazed out the window, and orange sunlight was spilling into the Astair household, signaling that it would begin setting soon.
“Where’s Elowen?” I asked Merrick.
“Off healing Fabel’s arm. I guess she broke it climbing a tree today,” he replied. Fabel was one of the few children in Ames.
I merely nodded, and we were silent for a few more moments.
“What did Igon want?” Merrick asked while placing silverware by each plate. “I was surprised you didn’t come back to the pit afterwards.”
I shrugged, setting down glasses for everyone. “Just didn’t feel up to it.”
It was silent, and when I looked over to Merrick, his normal icy-blue eyes were swirling—now a deep charcoal. They changed that color any time he was reading the emotions of someone.
