I turned to him, his expression as strained as mine.
“You know I can’t do that,” I whispered.
“I know,” he whispered back, then, to my surprise, pulled me into a hug. I froze before hugging him back as tightly as I could. The tears couldn’t help but pour out, and I was sobbing quietly into his chest.
“Are you going to be able to keep it together when you see him?” Torrin asked just above a whisper.
I don’t know…I don’t know…
I continued to sob, and Torrin stroked my hair. How could I see him one last time without having a complete meltdown? Without telling him the truth?
“You could leave him a note,” Torrin gently suggested. “You could say you came to see him, and he wasn’t in his room.”
“I need to hug him,” I choked out. “I need to touch him, kiss him, hear his voice—one last time.”
I pulled away from his hold and sniffled as I wiped my eyes.I can do this.
Torrin nodded. “I will stay with you.”
I waited half an hour with Torrin, and he did his best to try to keep me calm. I told him talking made it worse, but he insisted that if I held it all in until I saw Silas, I would break.
So, I told him about us. I told him stories he already knew. I told him about the day I showed Silas around the Outer Ring. I told him about my childhood on the run and about the fear that has held me back all my life. He kept eye contact and listened the entire time.
When I noticed the oil lamps being turned on in Silas’s room, I wiped my eyes and stood, taking a deep breath.
“You can do this, Lena.” He grasped my hands. “He is your Soul-Tie. This is not the end.”
I nodded, we squeezed each other’s hands, and I made my way to the window. Torrin retreated to where Silas wouldn’t see him.
When I peered inside and saw the one I loved, I noted how exhausted he looked—completely drained. He was unbuttoning his shirt when he caught me in the window. Quickly, he trekked to the door, flicking the locks and letting me inside.
“Lena, you shouldn’t—”
I flung myself into his arms, and he closed his around me tightly. I repeated Torrin’s words in my head.
He is your Soul-Tie. This is not the end.
“I know, I know I shouldn’t have come up here. But I—” Had to say goodbye. “I had to see you.”
He continued holding me close. “I wish I could hold you like this daily,” he breathed. “You’re the only thing that grounds me in all this chaos.”
He is your Soul-Tie. This is not the end.
“I couldn’t live without you,” he whispered.
I froze. Why…why, of all times, would he say something like that?
“Don’t say that…” I begged quietly.
“It’s true. The only good thing in my life is you. I wouldn’t have the desire to live if—”
“No,” I said sternly, pulling back and staring into his eyes. “You cannot let your will to live be tied to me, Silas. To anyone. Because life is unfair, and tragedy can happen at any time.” I touched his face, stroking my thumb along his perfect cheekbones. His amber eyes welled with tears, and mine started too, as well. “No matter what happens…” My lip trembled, but I kept the tears in. “You willnotgive up. You will not break.” It took everything in me to keep myself composed. “Promise me.”
His jaw clicked, his golden eyes bouncing between mine in contemplation.
“Please, promise me, Silas.”
He kissed my forehead. “For you, my Flower, I promise,” he whispered.
