“Please,” I begged. “I need to see her. To try to explain.”
Minerva studied me for a moment, biting her bottom lip. “This will only lead to heartbreak,” she said quietly.
I gave her a sad smile. “Is that not always a risk when it comes to love?”
Her mouth parted slightly, and after a moment, she nodded. “Lena is by the river,” she said, her thumb pointing behind her.
“Thank you,” I said with a bow and made my way to the river along the backside of their property. Based on what I had seen these past months, this river ran along most of the border of the Outer Ring.
The land behind their property went on for about twenty feet before it descended into a hill, and sitting down there, knees to her chest as she tossed pebbles into the water, was Lena. Her hair, a radiant orange in the morning sunlight, was pulled back into a braid. It was clear that even though she had said she wished not to see me, she could have easily been in bed or already on to her deliveries. Instead, she waited for me.
So, I made my way down to her.
Chapter Twenty
LENA
Heliedtome—thisentire time.
It had been a week, and I still struggled to fathom it all. I chucked little rocks into the river behind my home and watched as they made their ripples.
Today would be the day he shows. I still didn’t know what I would say. I knew I couldn’t be with him, but I also craved nothing more than to be at his side.
And then there was everything with Torrin. How did a Mage manage to ascend the ranks of the Royal Guard? He said he was one of the Prince’s friends, yet Quill had only mentioned Edmund and Hendry to me.
After tossing a few more stones, thoughts firing off in my brain, I felt someone walk up behind me and glanced back to see Quill. He was watching me, hands in the pockets of his black pants and a somber expression on his face.
Silas. His name is Silas.
I turned to face the river and threw another rock before pulling my legs closer. “Go away.”
I heard his footsteps approaching. “I said go away,” I repeated. He sat beside me, wrapped his arm around me, and pulled me close. He knew just as I did that the last thing I wanted was for him to leave.
I couldn’t stop my lip from trembling and the tears from flowing, and a moment later, I broke into a full sob. He drew me close, and as I cried and cried into his chest, he caressed my head, his fingers gliding through my hair.
“I am so, so sorry, Lena. I didn’t want to lie…” he said, his tone so pitiful it made my heart break.
“Then why?” I cried, lifting my head to look at him. “Why did you? Did you not trust me?” I knew I was a hypocrite for saying that, but I couldn’t help it.
“No, that’s not it at all.” He held my face with one hand, then took a deep breath. “My mother allowed me to sneak out for one day. It was just supposed to be for one day.” He brushed my tears away with his thumb, then held my face with both hands. “Not only that, but I was also only supposed to go to the Inner Ring, not the Outer, and certainly not exit the kingdom. It was meant for me to experience and see a part of Otacia—to give me a small taste of freedom that I so desperately desired.
“And then I saw you.” He smiled softly, then skimmed his thumb against my bottom lip. “You know what I thought? I saw you get pushed to the ground, and yes, my instinct at first was to rush over and protect you. I assumed I knew how you would be—a small, innocent girl incapable of defending herself. Perhaps another girl who would gush over me.” The corners of his lips raised. “Then I saw you grab and hold your dagger to that girl’s neck.” He let out a breathy laugh. “Gods, that look in your eyes. At that moment, you weren’t frightened, small, or broken.” His smile turned to a grin. “You were a siren. Beautiful, dangerous, and utterly fascinating. So, I asked myself, who is this spitfire, and how can I get close to her? Everyone up there,” he said, gesturing toward the Center, “is so superficial. The conversations are bleak. Most of the people are…soulless.”
His beautiful eyes met mine again, staring intensely.
“I didn’t go over to help you. I came over to have a taste of somethingreal. And I couldn’t believe how little you thought of yourself. How you had no clue that you were more special than every person in this damn kingdom. I could tell you wore a mask, hiding your true self because you were scared to be her. It was something I related to. But that’s why I enjoyed teasing you…enjoyed pushing your buttons. Because I saw her peering through, begging to come out. And I loved every bit of her.”
I felt myself choke up more, my eyes stinging and failing at holding back the constant flow of tears.
Still holding my face, he kissed both streams, and his golden gaze burned into mine when he drew back to speak more. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to look at me like everyone else does. I didn’t want you to treat me any differently. And even though I didn’t tell you everything about me, you have gotten the most authentic version of me that anyone else has.”
I couldn’t breathe, mainly because his words struck home. How could I be mad at him when I have kept my secret for the same reasons?
“I know me being the Prince…complicates things,” he continued. “But I’m in love with you, Lena Daelyra. Truthfully, I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you.”
My hand traveled up to the side of his neck. “I’m in love withyou,Qu—” I stopped myself. “Silas…”
“You can still call me Quill. Hell, I love hearing you call me that.” He grazed his thumb along my jawline.
