It was close to 9:00 p.m., and the sun was nearly set.
“What plans do you have?” I asked.
“I am hanging with a couple of my girlfriends,” she responded. I was always jealous that Mother had friends. I so desperately wanted that, too. But the joy I felt for her always overpowered any feelings of sadness for myself.
“And then,” she smirked, “we are playing cards and having a sleepover.”
I blinked.
Chapter Fifteen
“AtWendi’shouse,nothere,” she assured.
So…that means…
“I’ll head out, leave you to…yourselves.” She coughed, then handed me over a bottle. I examined the container with skepticism, and then my eyes shot wide, my face heating as I realized what was in my hands.
Contraceptive elixir.
“I’m not saying I want anything to happen, but I know how it is.”
I wanted to argue, but I was grateful, even though the awkwardness made me want to jump off Castle La’Rune.
“Thank you,” I whispered, avoiding eye contact as I took the bottle.
She touched my shoulder for a moment, then headed out.
I stared at the elixir for a moment before removing the cork. I sniffed it, winced, then chugged it—the flavor slightly bitter but not unbearable. I quickly chomped on a mint leaf so no taste would linger.
Would we actually have sex tonight? I wasn’t sure. I knew I wanted it—badly—but I was also nervous. I still couldn’t understand how a beautiful boy from the Inner Ring could desire someone like me.
I smiled softly while caressing the decals on my dress. In the few months since meeting Quill, my life had never been better…happier. I never thought I could love living this much.
I bit down on my lip.
I love him.
And I was nervous about telling him. I wondered what our future would be. Maybe Mother and I would make enough one day to be part of the Inner Ring, and maybe Quill’s family would grow to accept me.
Then, a sadness swept over me.
We could never have children. It would risk everything. What if he wants that? Not that I was ready now, but I would love children one day. But if our child were anything like me, I would be put in the same predicament my mother was. And I knew that while my mother loved me, I also ripped her away from the love of her life.
A knock on the door kicked me out of my thoughts, and I scrambled off the couch, dusted myself off, and reached for the doorknob.
Quill was beaming as I opened the door. The oil lamp by our entrance cast a warm glow over him. He wore a black button-up shirt, his forearms and chest just slightly exposed, showing off his golden skin. His navy pants matched my dress, and a bouquet of white roses rested in a silver vase he held. His smile faded as he looked me up and down.
I tensed.
Does he not like how I look?
He studied me a moment more, and his amber eyes met mine.
“So damn beautiful,” he said softly, brushing my hair behind my ear.
I exhaled in relief and smiled as he handed me the roses. I inhaled and lost myself in their wonderful scent.
“Roses, my favorite,” I whispered and gave him a warm smile. “This is so kind. Thank you, Quill.”
