I returned the smile, trying not to appear self-conscious.
“Sit,” Leaping Deer said, pointing to a patch of dirt next to Laughing Maid.
I did as I was told, folding my arms over my breasts.
Leaping Deer settled next to me and directed her attention to Laughing Maid. “Call in the directions.”
Laughing Maid nodded, closed her eyes, and began to rock back and forth. She crouched, her head brushing the low ceiling, and cupped her hands over her head as if to receive. Then, she said, “Oh, Great Spirit of the North, we come to you and ask for the strength and the power to bear what is cold and brutal in life. We come like buffalo, ready to receive the winds that blow your blessings upon the plains. Oh, Spirit of Life and Spirit of the North, we ask you for strength and warmth.”
She pivoted a quarter circle and turned her upturned palms toward the East. “Oh, Great Spirit of the East, we turn to you where the sun comes up, from where the power of light comes each day. Let there be the light bestowed upon us. Oh, Spirit of the East, let the light in our life be a celebration to you.”
I fell into a place of stillness at her intonations. Like Laughing Maid, I began to rock side to side, and my gaze softened.
Laughing Maid shifted her body again. Then, she said, “Oh, Great Spirit of the South, the spirit of all that is warm and kind, we ask you to give us this time of growth, fertility, and sweet caress. Give us the seeds of abundance such that the earth’s flowers, trees, and fruits may grow. Help us cultivate and nourish the warmth of good friendships.”
Once more, she pivoted. “Oh, Great Spirit of the West, where the sun goes down each day to come up the next, we turn to you in praise of sunsets and in thanksgiving for changes. You are the powerful cycle that pulls us to transformation. Help us stay open to life’s changes.”
She lifted her hands and then dipped them toward the ground, saying, “As it is above, may it be so below. A-ho!”
Without being prompted, I repeated the phrase, “A-ho!” as did Leaping Deer.
Laughing Maid settled back into her place.
As we sat in silence, the heat grew overbearing.
Laughing Maid scooped water from the lined basket and threw it on the glowing stones.
Steam billowed into the air, searing my face and torso. Sweat poured from my face, my neck, and my breasts.
“Let us pray. Let your prayers fit through the eye of a needle,” Leaping Deer said. She picked up a deer hoof rattle next to Laughing Maid, shook it, and said, “Great Spirit, watch over our people. Grant us your blessings as we journey through this lifetime. We ask that you bless our returned family, Swift Hawk and Hunting Wolf, and their loved ones, Little Moon and the one called Emily. Grant them the answers they seek.”
In a loud, clear voice, she said, “Mitákuye Oyás’i?!”
Laughing Maid poured more water over the rocks.
A cloud of steam billowed into the enclosure, scorching my nostrils when I breathed. Sweat poured from every skin cell until I felt like floating in a boiling sea. I could barely tolerate the scorching temperature.
Give me the strength to endure.
Laughing Maid took the rattle and began to pray. “Great Spirit, grant us abundance. Give us guidance when we have lost our way. Help us live out our lives according to your plan, not ours. And grant that Little Moon, Swift Hawk, and Hunting Wolf find the answers they seek,” she said, repeating Leaping Deer’s prayer. “Mitákuye Oyás’i?!”
She poured more water over the hot stones.
I became so hot that I thought I’d die. Perspiration dripped into my eyes, stinging them and making me blink wildly. Drenched in heat, I could barely remember my name.
The rattle was handed to me. I shook it, unable to think of a thing to say. My mind and body reeled from the intense storm inside and outside my body. I closed my eyes and continued to shake the rattle. All I could think about was the heat, the searing heat.
In a voice that didn’t sound like mine, that didn’t seem to come from me, I said, “Great Spirit, hear me. Grant me the strength to battle the darkness and slay the darkest of them all—Balthazar.”
A ferocious wind kicked up inside the teepee, raising the temperature even more. This strange gust billowed about me like my own private tempest. A keening noise issued from my mouth, coming from some fathomless place inside me.
A hand grabbed my neck, and my eyelids fluttered open.
Leaping Deer shoved my face to the ground and said, “Stay there. Stay low.” Then, she cried, “Begone, foul wind. Leave us!”
The wind howled, shrieking against my eardrums.
I pressed my palms to my ears to keep the sound at bay. With gritted teeth, I kept up with the keening as my face pressed against the dirt, seeking the coolness it provided.
