“So, Colton,” Alejandro began, opening up his notebook to take notes, “how has everything been this week? Being home, seeing everyone?”
I managed a genuine grin. “Good. Things have definitely been good. I feel better.” I paused, taking a moment to gather my thoughts. “Ember and I are taking the time to reconnect and get to know each other again, as adults. We may not see each other every day, but we always talk each night before bed. Even if it’s just to say goodnight.”
Alejandro nodded, his eyebrows raised slightly, a thoughtful expression on his face. “That’s excellent to hear, Colton. And I’m particularly glad you’re both recognizing the importance of taking things slow. You two have a significant history, and while you know each other well, you’ve spent too much time apart. There were also too many hurt feelings, too many unresolved issues, to simply jump back into something. You need to get to know each other again as the adults you are now, not the kids you were before everything, before the trauma. That slow, steady reconnection will build a much stronger foundation.”
“Yeah, we’ve even been spending time together at the Habitat site, and she’s helping me plan the first group for the riding program. It feels… good. Normal, even.”
“That’s excellent progress, Colton,” Alejandro affirmed, a genuine warmth in his tone. “And what about Cade? Have you had that conversation yet?”
My shoulders tightened. Honestly, I’ve been worried sick about him. I wouldn’t express that to Ember, I didn’t want to worry her. But what if something happened? I’ve even thought about trying to pull some strings, see if I could reach out through my old contacts, or at least talk to Richard about getting some kind of update.“Not yet,” I answered Alejandro. “With him being wherever he is, it’s hard. We don’t know where he is, and his parents are getting concerned becausethey haven’t heard anything from him in a while. But I definitely will. I know he needs to hear it from me. He deserves to know, I’d like to do it face-to-face, but I know that may be impossible. Cade and I, we went through a lot. And he’s always been so protective of Ember. I know this conversation is going to be tough.”
“It will be, Colton,” Alejandro said. “And you need to be prepared for Cade’s anger and him being upset. But it’s important he hears it from you. And you realizing that, and taking responsibility, that’s a significant step.” He paused, looking at his notes. “Now, let’s talk about some tools to help you, and Ember, manage the tougher moments, especially now that you’re spending more time together and reconnecting.”
He leaned forward, his voice lowering slightly. “First, nightmares. When they happen, the key is to ground yourself immediately. Sit up, turn on a light, and focus on your surroundings. Control your breathing. Remember what I taught you already, name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This brings your brain back to the present. Don’t try to fight the dream, just acknowledge it and then redirect your focus. Make sure Ember knows If she’s with you, not to wake you suddenly. Make sure she knows it could, and will happen, and that it’ll be scary for her, especially the first couple of times. Go over everything we’ve discussed so she can help you when a nightmare happens.”
“And for panic attacks when you’re together,” Alejandro continued, “it’s crucial for Ember to understand. She needs to know it’s not her fault, and that while it’s terrifying, the most important thing she can do is remain calm. She shouldn’t try to talk you out of it, or force you to breathe deeply. Instead, she should speak in a calm, soothing voice.Guide you through those same grounding exercises. The goal is to remind you that you’re safe, you’re here, and she’s with you.”
He paused, letting the information sink in. “We can role-play some of these scenarios in our next session, so you feel more prepared, and make sure you share these tools with Ember when you both feel ready. It also wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to join you on a session. It’s completely up to you and you can tell me what not to bring up in front of her. But it may be good for her to come.”
“Yeah,” I said, “I’ll definitely mention it to her. I’d like for her to come with me. For her to meet you, and you, her.” If Ember- no notif- since Emberisgoing to be a permanent person in my life. And one day becoming my wife, she needed to know exactly what she was signing up for being with me.
Alejandro closed his notebook, a satisfied smile on his face. “Colton, I’m genuinely pleased with the progress you’ve made. You’re showing remarkable progress and a genuine commitment to your healing. You’ve come a long way in the weeks since we’ve met. I believe you’re ready to shift our sessions. From now on, I think we can cut out the daily check-ins, and just focus on the weekly sessions. Of course, if anything comes up between sessions, don’t hesitate to reach out. But I think you’re going to be okay.”
After my session with Alejandro, I needed to go see Scott at Habitat for Humanity. I hated the way I skipped out on him and I owed him an apology.
As soon as I walked in he was in the main area speaking with someone, but as soon he saw he came over to greet me. “Colton! Good to see you back, man. We missed you. How are you?”
“Hey Scott. I’m doing better, and it’s good to be back,” I replied,genuinely meaning it.
We talked for a bit and I briefly filled him in on what had been going on with me. He knew a little from what I’d mentioned when I first started volunteering here, but I owed him more. He said he understood and told me not to worry about anything, but I still felt bad for up and leaving him hanging. I promised him I’d give it my all and wouldn’t disappoint him again.
It wasn’t long before Ember showed up, volunteering her time as she often did. We fell into an easy rhythm together, working side-by-side, sanding drywall, painting trim. There was no awkwardness, just the familiar comfort.
“This house is coming along nicely,” Ember said, stepping back to admire a freshly painted wall. Her brow was furrowed in concentration, a smudge of white paint on her cheek. “It won’t be long now before we can fill it with furniture and get everything ready for the family.”
“Yeah,” I said, reaching out to gently wipe the paint away with my thumb. Her skin was soft, warm. “It is. Should be ready for the family by the end of next month.”
“It’s amazing what the program does here,” she murmured, her eyes meeting mine.
“It feels good,” I admitted. “To be helping make a difference. Building something good, for a family who needs it.”
We stood there then, neither of us saying anything, lost in each other’s gaze. Her eyes held a vulnerability that mirrored my own. The weeks of absence, the unspoken words that I wanted to say, the lingering hurt that I knew Ember still had—it all faded into the background. I couldn’t resist. My hand went to her cheek, tilted her face gently, and pulled her to me.
Her lips were soft, familiar, and had a hint of something sweet. It wasn’t a desperate, hungry kiss, but slow and tender. A silent promise. As I deepened the kiss, we got lost in the moment, nothing else existed except for Ember and me.
“Heads up!” Scott yelled, followed by something heavy hitting the floor in another room. Ember gasped, as we instinctively broke apart, her eyes wide and breathless, a pink flush forming on her cheeks.
Her fingers immediately flew to her lips, touching them where mine had just been. My own heart was still pounding in my chest. That kiss had been unexpected, utterly perfect, and I needed more. Clearing my throat. “Have dinner with me. Tonight. Have dinner with me,” I said, the words coming out more as a demand. Her eyes, still wide, met mine, and a slow, beautiful smile bloomed on her face. “Yes,” she breathed, her voice a little shaky, but filled with a happiness that settled any lingering nerves I had.
Later that night, as we were sitting at a small table in a quiet Italian restaurant, I brought up the horseback riding program. “I’ve been working on the final details for the riding program,” I told her. “I’ve got the program’s goals and objectives planned out, from beginner to advanced. For the beginner class I want to cover the basics from basic riding, to grooming, and of course safety. I figured the more advanced riders will have all the basics, but I want to do a refresher for them, and then go on to jumping, transitioning and movements. Then if everything goes well, I’d like to talk to your dad and Garrett about starting up a riding camp next summer.” I continued, excited for the prospect of making this happen. “Something where the kids have the option of days or overnight. And of course, like I mentioned before, all the groups will be based on age. Also, I wanted to talk with Garrettabout the trails on the back of your property where Cade and I used to play as kids and see if they’re still accessible. If not, I’d like to clean them up and use them for trail rides.”
Ember’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Colton,” she started, shaking her head. “That’s incredible. I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say. You have some incredible ideas, and I can’t wait to see them come to life. What can I do? I already reached out to local day programs at schools and community centers, they’re going to let the parents know.”
She reached across the table taking my hand. “I’m so excited for you, and for this. If there’s anything- anything, I can do, please ask.”
Squeezing her hand in response, I said, “Thank you, and I definitely will. Your support means everything to me. I really need you.”
We spent the remainder of dinner discussing ideas, bouncing ideas back and forth. We talked about funding, volunteers, and safety and legal protocols that would need to be established before kids were allowed to get on a horse. Doing this with Ember, seeing her enthusiasm, her support and faith in me, made it all more special.
