“I remember that,” I said, my voice low. “I remember how scared she was.” We sat in silence for a few moments and then I looked at Laura, “How can you be so welcoming to me, Laura? After everything I’ve done? After…after how I hurt Ember?”
She looked away from me for a brief moment before looking back at me and tapped my hand with hers. “Lord knows, we’ve all missed you around here. You’re still family to us, Colton. We love you.”
I looked at her, my eyes questioning. “I’m not so sure everyone feelsthat way.”
“Honey, you were always like a son to me and Richard,” she said, her voice soft, but firm. “And family forgives when one acts like an ass and forgets his way home sometimes. Though sometimes it takes a while, and sometimes, it involves a bit of yelling. And maybe a dish towel to the backside. But you’re here now. And that means something. It means you’re trying.”
She paused, her gaze drifting towards the fields, her expression turning somber. Sighing she continued speaking while I sat and listened. “My girl… she’s still hurting. She’s been hurting for a long time. She tries to put a brave face on, but it’s obvious. But,” she paused, a hint of a smile playing on her lips, “seeing you sitting here, talking to me… it means you’ve finally pulled your head out of your ass. And that, Colton James, is a start. A start to making things right. A start to maybe, just maybe, healing some old wounds. And,” she added, her eyes twinkling, “a start to figuring out how you’re going to win my stubborn daughter back.”
Before I had the chance to say anything, the sound of a car engine came down the driveway. We both turned to see Ember’s car pull up in front of the house next to my truck, the tires crunching on the gravel.
I could tell immediately when Ember stepped out and slammed her door this wasn’t going to be easy. Her posture was rigid, her hands curved into hard fists by her side, and her gaze fixed on me. The air crackled with tension between us as she stood beside her car and as I sat like a coward next to her mom.
Beside me, I heard Laura give a small, almost nervous laugh. “Oh dear,” she muttered, patting my knee as she got up. “Good luck with that, Colton.” She made her way to the door to go inside and yelled across to Ember to go easy on me.
I stood up and walked to the edge of the steps and slowly made my way down, all while keeping my eyes locked with hers.
My, my, my… was my Firefly on fire.
Chapter 10
Ember
Oh the audacity of this man!
The sight of him, sitting onmyporch swing, talking tomymother like nothing had ever happened, sent a fresh wave of fury through me. It was a cold, hard anger, the kind I felt deep in my bones. After years of silence, after years of pretending he didn’t exist, convincing myself I was over Colton, now he was here,again.
“What are you doing here?” I demanded, my voice sharp and angry.
I watched as Colton came down the porch steps up, his gaze stayed locked with mine. I didn’t want to admit how good he looked. When he left here he had muscles, but now he was a wall of muscles. Six feet of solid muscles. I couldn’t help wondering what those arms would feel like wrapped around me. At that thought I felt a wave of jealousy as I wondered just exactly how many other women had those armswrapped around them.“It doesn’t matter Ember, he’s not yours and he never was. So what if he slept his way all over the country, and every other country he might have been in. He’s always been free to do whatever he wanted, just like you,”I told myself. Unfortunately, even though I dated a little, I basically lived like a nun. I mean I wasn’t a virgin. But the notches on my bed post consisted of three guys.
“Firefly,” he said, interrupting my thoughts, “it’s good to see you. I-”
“Don’t,” I cut him off sharply. “And don’t Firefly me, Colton James! Just go. I’m sure you remember how to leave.”
“Ember, please,” he pleaded, taking a step towards me. “I just want to talk.”
“Talk?” I scoffed, “You just want to‘talk’,” a bitter laugh escaping my lips. “Sure, Colton. And what would you like to talk about? Hmm?” I didn’t give him a chance to even say anything before I fired more at him. “How about how you disappeared? Or how about the promise you made to me? Oh I know, how about how you just stopped writing?”
I stopped to breathe, I could feel the tears in the back of my eyes. Years worth of tears were threatening to spill. The hurt, the confusion, the sheer heartbreak of his abandonment, I felt all the emotion resurfacing with a vengeance. I’d spent years trying to convince myself I was over him, that I’d moved on. But seeing him standing there, seeing that look in his eyes, felt like it was going to shatter that illusion.
“Ember, please,” he pleaded again. He tried to reach his hand out to my arm but I stepped back. “Just let me try to explain.”
“You know, it’s funny,” I said, my voice laced with sarcasm, the hurt finally breaking through the fragile dam I had built. “You could talk to Cade. You kept in touch with him. But me? I wasn’t worth a letter,a phone call, any goddamn thing.” I paused, taking a shaky breath, the memory of those agonizing months still sharp. At first, when I started to get less phone calls from you, and you stopped responding to my letters, I just assumed you were too busy. But as the months went by, and nothing, I started worrying that something happened to you. Because surely you wouldn’t just stop talking to me.”
My gaze hardened. “If it wasn’t for your parents and Cade letting me know you were still alive, I would’ve driven myself crazy with worry. I would’ve been picturing you dead in some ditch somewhere. Or thinking you just didn’t care anymore. And you know what the worst part is? I didn’t know which was worse. Knowing you were alive and just… ignoring me, or thinking you were gone forever. We grew up together, Colton. You weren’t just the boy I was falling in love with, you were my friend, too. That’s why being ignored by you, bymy friend, hurt so deeply. Because at least if you were dead, I’d know it wasn’t my fault. I’d know it wasn’t because I wasn’t good enough.”
Colton flinched, his expression pained. “No, Ember. Don’t say that, you are good enough. It was never you, it was me. Something happened. Something I’m not ready to talk about, but please believe me-”
He started to explain, to tell me about some incident that had supposedly led to his emotional withdrawal. But I didn’t want to hear it. It was too late. Years too late.
“I don’t care,” I said, my voice flat. “Whatever happened to you, it doesn’t excuse what you did. You left me, Colton. You left us all. And now, you expect me to just… what? Forgive you? Forget?”
I shook my head, my eyes burning with unshed tears. “I thought… I thought I was over you. I thought I’d finally buried the hurt. But seeing you here… it’s like ripping open an old wound. And I don’t want to feel this anymore. Ineedto move on. Ineedto forget you.”
With that I brushed past him to go inside. Just as I was about to pass, I felt his fingers brush against my arm. Just the touch sent a jolt of electricity through, telling me the pull between us was still there. But it felt tainted. The love I once felt for Colton James was now replaced with hate and resentment, I didn’t know if there was any chance of forgiveness.
“I’m not giving up, Ember,” he said, his voice low and determined. “I know I fucked up, big time. I know I hurt you. But I’m going to fix this. You’re mine.”
