But as Knox, Jude, and Simon prepare to leave, a sliver of icy panic slides inside my chest. The truth strikes me like a bat across the shoulders. In seconds, I’m going to be alone for the first time since I was nineteen years old. Being on my own is what I wanted, why I moved out of Katherine’s home. Yet, now that I’m here, I’m…scared. Which is ridiculous, I know it. Even so, I can’t deny that I’m five seconds from begging them to stay for another round of pizza. The new season ofStranger Thingson Netflix. Counting the knobs on the cabinets.
Yeah, I’m desperate.
Still, I must have some remnants of pride left, because I force a smile and accept Jude and Simon’s goodbye hugs and smacks to my cheek. Tension invades me as I turn to Knox, bracing myself for his hands on me. The seed of dread sprouts into twisting vines that wind around my chest, squeezing. What is my problem? I can’t count how many nights I spent alone in my house as a child, with my father out raising hell and my mother looking for him. I left home right after high school and drove hundreds of miles to Chicago, slept in my car for months, and attended college—alone. Why am I suddenly tripping at the thought of being by myself in my apartment?
Knox studies my face, his gaze roaming it as if analyzing every feature, trying to probe beneath my keep-it-moving-nothing-to-see-here facade. “What’s wrong?” he finally asks.
Embarrassed, I glance behind him, but his brothers have already left, leaving the door open for Knox. “Nothing,” I lie. “I’m good. Thanks for all your help today.”
His piercing gaze drops, narrowing on my twisting fingers.Damn. I smother a growl of disgust and halt the nervous tic. Hiking my chin up and tugging my shoulders back, I silently dare him to call me on it.
Without a word, he kicks the door shut behind him, never releasing me from his emerald stare.
“I’m staying.”
Chapter Seven
Knox
What the fuck am I doing?
“What the hell are you doing?” Eden’s demand coincides with the growled question ringing in my head.
And the answer to both?I have no damn clue.
This is what I get for acting on impulse. But lately, that seems to be my default with Eden. And it’s done nothing but get my tongue around her nipple, my finger in her pussy, and a fuckload of guilt crushing my chest. Control is a thing of the past with her. And that’s not good. At all. More than any other person, she’s the one I need to be most disciplined around. Hell, sheneedsme to be.
Frustration gathers inside me, shoving at my rib cage, and I clench my jaw, locking down the curses swarming up my throat. Dragging a hand down my face, I palm my keys. I should’ve just followed Jude and Simon out of the apartment.
Maybe that hadn’t been panic or fear I glimpsed in her eyes as my brothers and I headed out the door. And maybe those telltale signs of nerves were due to being alone with me. Not that I can blame her.
But still, something nags at me. Insists that those nerves aren’t because of me, but from being alone in a new place after the constant company of family for years.
And even suspecting she’s going to be sitting here in this apartment, lonely and nervous, has me making decisions that both of us will probably come to regret.
“Look, I’ll…” But as I consider starting toward the door, something flickers over her face. Lights up the depths of those dark chocolate eyes. Relief. The vise grip around my chest loosens, and I drop my keys on the small table she set next to the door. “I’ll take the couch.”
She scowls, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t recall—what? That couch is way too short for you,” she mutters, almost to herself.
The corner of my mouth twitches, but I stride past her before she can catch it. She might fight my staying, but she’s already agreed.
“I’ve slept on worse,” I reply with a shrug of a shoulder.
“I bet,” comes her low grumble behind me. Hold up. What the fuck does that mean? “Speaking of sleeping in other places,” she continues. “Shouldn’t you be headed to one of them? I’m sure your plans for the night didn’t include planting your Tormund Giantsbane body on my brand-new couch.”
I turn, scanning and taking in her irritated frown, the defensive cross of her arms…and her feet in third position. Returning my gaze to hers, I blink. “Lord of the Rings?”
Heaving a loud, world-weary sigh, she throws her arms up. “Seriously?Game of Thrones, you plebian.”
“Same thing.” I watch her. And wait.
Her eyes narrow, and fists finding her hips, she leans forward, the corner of her fuck-me mouth curling up in a sneer.There it is.
“No, it’snotthe same thing,” she snaps. “Seven Kingdoms, Middle Earth. White Walkers, Orcs. Dragons—”
“Dragons,” I finish, arching an eyebrow.
“That wasThe Hobbit, notLord of the Rings,” she mumbles. Then her chin jerks up, and she studies me for several long seconds before her lips twist into a small, wry smile. “Nicely done.”
