Aroused.
His hand on her neck and her spread legs weren’t overtly sexual, and yet she felt herself start to slide into submission.
“Is lack of trust a symptom or a side effect?” She was trying for teasing, but it was the wrong thing to say.
Leon’s face hardened, his expression shuttered.
Cessie squeezed her eyes closed. Yet another thing she’d fucked up. Another time she’d been wrong. She didn’t realize she’d instinctively started to close her legs until his hand dropped from her neck to her thigh.
“Cessie, we both know what needs to happen next if we’re going to do anything else.”
She was staring at his big hand on her bare thigh. She nodded as anxiety and need warred for control of her emotions.
“But you don’t have to do this. It’s always, always your choice.”
Her heart felt like it was going to crack and crumble away.
“And if you can’t do it tonight but want to try again tomorrow, we will.”
At that she looked up. “We will?”
He didn’t smile, but his eyes sparkled, crinkling just a little at the corners. “Yes, baby. Always.”
She wanted to tell him how desperately she loved him and how terrified she was of losing him. Of how she knew she was spiraling and losing control, to the point she was worried it wouldn’t just be her personal life that collapsed, but it would bleed into her professional life. The hospital was the only place she felt competent and sure of herself anymore.
“We can leave now if you want. It’s been a long day.”
It had been—flying from L.A. to Missoula, Montana, followed by the nearly hundred mile-drive to the Ranch. Once they’d checked in, she’d taken a nap while Leon went on a walk. Coming to the Dungeon tonight was the end of a very long day.
But it was his assurance that they could try again, that he wasn’t giving up on her, that allowed her to feel safe enough to stand.
Cessie knew this man—her lover, friend, and Dom—well enough to see the hint of defeat in his posture as she rose from her chair. He thought she wanted to leave. To once again avoid and delay the intimacy of BDSM, despite them both desperately needing the connection.
Instead, she moved to face him, looking down at his familiar face. She cupped his cheek, and the way his eyes closed and he swallowed for just a moment made her feel powerful.
She let herself bask in it, in the power born of seeing the effect her touch had on him. And then she willingly, eagerly, transferred that power to him. Cessie leaned over and kissed him, a bare brush of lips.
The kiss was their signal. A chaste, innocent touch the starting point for things dark and depraved. Usually, he was the one who kissed her, silently telling her the scene had started now, but tonight it was her turn.
Leon’s eyes snapped open, the heat and leashed control she saw in the depths of his gaze both terrifying and wonderful.
Cessie let her hand drop from his cheek and then slowly sank to her knees, legs spread and head bowed.
“Hello, Master, I’ve missed you.”
CHAPTER 5
Cessie followed Leon down the steps to the Dungeon floor, her head bowed, her hand tucked in his as he led her through the other scenes. The hum of conversation and giggles, the sharp sounds of spankings, and the fainter moans of pleasure turned into white noise. Her focus narrowed to the measured pace of his steps and the solid warmth of his grip.
He led her to a bare stretch of wall between two armoires. Metal D-rings were bolted into the wall at various heights.
Leon stopped and turned to her, lifting a hand to cup her cheek. His thumb brushed across her skin, grounding her. She looked up, met his steady gaze, and nodded.
Without a word, he released her hand and reached into the small bag he’d had stashed under his chair and carried with the hand not holding hers.
She held out her wrists as he buckled the heavy, padded suspension cuffs around them.
Again, without speaking he tipped his head to the wall. She knew what to do, what would happen next. She turned to face the wall, shuffling forward until her toes almost touched, then raised her hands.
