“It does imply a certain amount of longevity about it, and there’s nothing wrong with that. It could be a good deal for you. You’re not the type to stand in the cattle market and compete. You’re too easy-going and don’t think enough of yourself. You could get a nice little nest egg under you that would pay the fees for the master’s course and maybe a deposit on a flat or something. This is your chance to make a lot of money, Wes.”
“That’s true. Are those the reasons why you keep doing it?”
His eyes turn fierce. “I’ve been alone and at rock bottom, and I won’tevergo back. Money is what keeps me safe.”
“And friends.” I smile even though my heart hurts at his words. “You have me now, so you’re not alone, and I promise I will always help you.”
“How very sentimental,” he sniffs. “All I know is that I will never be poor again.”
“Alright, Scarlett O’Hara.”
He laughs and then his eyes turn thoughtful. “I haven’t asked you the right question yet.”
“How do you know? Your questions of me must rank in the thousands by now.”
“Hardly. And that can’t be true, because I really don’t want to know too much about what goes on in your mind. It wouldprobably be disturbing. What I’m trying to ask at the moment is if you actually want to continue with Cormac.”
I stare blindly out the window at the river. “Yes,” I finally say, turning back to him. “I do want to.”
“Why?”
“Because I find him very interesting, and the shagging is absolutely world class.”
To my surprise, he shakes his head, his eyes alarmed. “Oh no. This isexactlywhat I was concerned about.”
“What?”
He wags a finger at me. “You’re getting attached.”
“I amnot.”
“Yes, you are. You said he was interesting. You should only be interested in how much he’s paying and that you’re giving value for money.”
“I do think about that,” I protest. “Sometimes,” I admit. He groans, and I smile at him. “Thank you for being concerned, but I’m fine. Maybe it helps to actually like the person who’s regularly paying me for sex. It makes it easier.”
“It won’t be easier if you fall for him.”
I scoff. “As if. Never going to happen.”
“I mean, I don’t blame you. He’s a cold man with many secrets and a body to die for. Of course, you’re interested in him.”
“He’s notcold. He’s just closed off.”
“Oh dear. It’s just getting worse.”
His doleful expression makes me chuckle. “Will you miss me?”
“Of course. You will leave a hole with your absence, the way you left a hole in my food supply.”
“I’ll miss you too, but we’ll still see each other regularly.”
“Will we?”
“There is zero need for that tone of despair,” I say indignantly, and he laughs. I tap the counter. “Well, I feel like it’s been a productive day. I came three times, had delicious food, and I’ve made up my mind about my imminent future. That’s always a good starting point.”
“Not with your impulse control.” He catches my hand as I go to rise. “Just be careful.”
“You know I will.” My words are airy and have the ring of certainty despite the worry that hovers at the back of my mind.
