“Anarrangement?” My voice catches embarrassingly, and I have to stop and clear my throat. “You had an arrangement with Mac?”
“Yes, he kept me for a year.”
The words are like a blow. “A year?” I echo.
“You didn’t know? Our arrangement only ended in January.”
My head reels. I can’t drag in enough air somehow, and my heart hurts like he just reached into my chest and squeezed it in his bare hands. Because I feel like a fucking idiot. I thought I was special because Mac kept me after one night. I thought Mac felt different about me because he’d had me stay in that flat he’d secured just for me. And he’d spent days, weeks, and months seeing me and only me. Oh god. I’d actually thought we’d had a future.
I’m not special at all though, am I? I’m simply the boy who came after Brandon.
“Does he talk about me?” Brandon says urgently, putting a hand on my arm.
I shake it off. “No. He never mentioned you.”
His shoulders sag and his gaze darts about the room, lost. Then he refocuses on me, and incredibly, he smiles. “Maybe because he can’t.” He clasps my arm again. “Do you think he misses me too much?”
I stare at him in disbelief. “What?”
“He was so good to me. We were so good together. He must miss me.”
He steps even closer, and I can smell his cologne and a trace of sweat. “Don’t get attached to him,” he says urgently. “Don’teverdo that.”
Julian steps between us and pushes him back. “Well, goodbye,” he says brightly. “You’ve said your piece. Now, you can go away and wank over the thought of Mac.”
“Julian,” I protest.
He shakes his head. “He’s just shit-stirring.”
But I’m not sure he is. The yearning on his face is so avid that it makes me feel queasy. “I’m sorry,” I say.
Brandon steps away and straightens his jacket. “I shouldn’t have spoken with you.”
“Youthink?” Julian says incredulously.
I put my hand on his shoulder to calm Julian, then I turn to Brandon and say, “Thank you for the warning.”
Brandon frowns. “I’m sorry for you.”
“Why?” I say wearily. I’m not sure how much more of this stranger’s honesty I can take.
“Because he’s getting ready to finish with you.”
“How the fuck do you know that?” Julian snaps.
He shrugs, his eyes alight with happiness. “He’s here, isn’t he? He obviously heard I was back in town and wanted to see me. Iknewhe wouldn’t be able to forget me.”
He moves to the door, and I say, “Wait.” I need to ask him one more question, even though I’m not sure I want to know the answer. But it seems important to know. “Did he take you to Paris?”
Something crosses his face, but it’s gone before I can work out what it is. “Yes.” He meets my gaze, tilting his head as though curious about my response.
I’d hoped I’d masked my wince, but Brandon’s mouth curves into a half smile. There’s a cruel cast to his expression now, as if he’s suddenly enjoying this.
“Thank you.” I carefully lean back against the counter. I don’t want him to notice that he’s upset me. I have my pride.
For a moment, I’m sure he’s going to say something else but he only nods a goodbye and then leaves the room, the door silently closing behind him.
I take a few deep breaths, grateful for Julian’s silence.
