Fuck.I raked my fingers through his hair. I loved his hair short. But it was really nice having something to grab onto as he picked up his pace.
He hitched my leg up, changing the angle and I moaned.
“God I love that sound.” He moved faster. Thrusting into me harder.
If this was how Miller made love, I couldn’t wait to see what his definition of fucking was. My fingers ran down the muscles of his strong back, pulling him closer.
I was used to him smelling like sunshine and salty water. And before that like some expensive cologne. But I preferred this smell most. He smelled like snowflakes and a wood-burning fire. He smelled like he was mine.
He buried his face between my tits, kissing them the same way he’d kissed my lips. Like he was devouring every inch of me.
All mine.
One of his hands left my waist and his thumb found my clit.
“Miller,” I moaned. “I’m gonna…”
And he squeezed it. Way harder than I thought he would.
My fingers dug into the skin of his back as I started to pulse around him.
“Fuck,” he groaned. He rode out his release with my own. Until we were both still, panting, staring at each other.
But the look on his face wasn’t what I was expecting. He didn’t look sated and relaxed. He looked…devastatingly sad. He slowly pulled out of me.
His eyes searched mine. “Did I hurt you?”
“What? No. That was perfect.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Then why are you crying?”
I reached up and felt the wetness on my cheeks. “I…” I hadn’t realized I had been. “I don’t know. I feel…overwhelmed.”
He lowered his eyebrows.
“In a good way. You’re overwhelming. I feel…amazing.” I turned to the fire burning beside us. “Like I can feel everything more. The fire seems warmer. And the carpet softer.” I turned back to him. “I feel really, overwhelmingly…loved.”
He pulled me closer and I rested my head on his chest.
I listened to his steady heartbeat. It had been a really long time since I’d felt this connected to someone. I traced Miller’s abs with my index finger as I tried to blink away the rest of my tears.
I did feel overwhelmingly loved.
But there was a small piece of me that felt sad. A small piece that I didn’t want to acknowledge. A small piece that I needed tolet go of. Matt had taken this first. Not taken. I’d given it to him willingly. But I’d given it to him thinking he’d also be my last.
I closed my eyes and breathed in Miller’s familiar smell. Maybe he was more right than I wanted to admit. Maybe I was still broken. Maybe I’d always be broken.
For the past year I thought my future was Matt. He’d wanted to give me the whole world. But the more distance there was between us, the more I realized he meanthisworld. And I didn’t want his world. I never had.
I wanted to be snuggled up on a winter’s night in a cozy lake house. I’d meant what I’d said to Miller. It was like I was in mourning for a love I’d lost. A love that was dead. I no longer loved Matt. And I hated that I was thinking about him right now while my limbs were tangled with Miller’s.
I lifted my head and stared down at him. “Thank you for being so patient with me. I know I’m a mess.”
He reached out and lightly brushed my remaining tears away with his thumbs. “You’re worth waiting for, Brooklyn.”
I swallowed hard. Miller had waited for me. Matt hadn’t. And I was pretty sure it was as simple as that. I was choosing to be with a man who thought I was worth waiting for. I’d been searching for love in all the wrong places. When it had been right beside me the whole time.
I ran my fingers down the side of his neck. His skin was softer than I imagined it would be. Everything about him was so muchmore than I expected. “I’m sorry it took me so long to find my way back to you.”
