So no, for the first time it wasn’t Miller’s absence that made the quiet of the mornings unbearable. It was that my dad kept texting me. And calling. Every few hours. I pressed the center of my chest, feeling the rings through my shirt.What should I do, Miller?I knew what I wanted to do. Push my father into oncoming traffic. But what if he was telling the truth? What if he hadn’t ordered the hit that killed Miller? I wasn’t sure it mattered if he had or hadn’t. It was still his fault.
My phone buzzed.Speak of the devil.I grabbed my phone and stared at his words: “Angel, please answer my calls. We need to talk.”
I was gripping my phone so tightly that my knuckles were turning white. What would Miller have done in this situation? I thought about how he’d told Jacob to punch my father. I knew exactly what he’d do. And it was better to take care of this now. I texted him back: “We have nothing to discuss. Please stop contacting me.”
My phone started ringing.
I’d said what I needed to. I rejected his call and started on another batch of brownies. Hopefully the team would be hungry today.
“Mommy?”
“Yes?” I stopped stirring when I saw his face. I’d been stirring too hard again. I’d had a bad habit of doing that recently.
He glanced at the spoon in my hand and then back at me. “When’s Coach coming back?”
“I’m…I’m not sure.” When he’d left this morning he said he’d see me later. I didn’t know if that meant at practice. Or after work. Or…some other time soon.
“Can he come back now?”
“He’s at work right now. But we’ll see him later this afternoon.”
“Can we call him?”
I put my elbows on the counter to get on eye level with Jacob. “You want to call him?”
“Yessie.”
I could never say no to him when he said that. And honestly, I was happy that Jacob wanted to talk to Matt. “Okay, let’s call him. But don’t be upset if he doesn’t answer, okay? He has meetings and things.”
I hit Matt’s name in my phone and put it on speaker. I expected it to go straight to voicemail, but he picked up in two rings.
“Miss me already?” Matt said in a very seductive tone.
“Hiya, Coach,” Jacob said. He didn’t seem to notice that Matt was definitely talking to me.
“Oh.” Matt cleared his throat. And then he coughed. “Hey, kiddo. Did you steal your mom’s phone?”
“No. Mommy let me call you.”
“Hey,” I said, stifling a laugh. “Jacob wanted to call and say hello.”
“No,” Jacob said. “I called because we need you, please.”
“Is everything okay?” Matt asked. A bell chimed. It sounded like he’d just stepped on the elevator.
“Everything’s fine,” I said and looked at Jacob.
“Nooooo. We need you.”
Jacob was used to Miller having a bit of flexibility in his schedule. But Matt had already been missing a lot of work since I’d been back in town. And I knew he was busy. “I think he just misses you,” I said. “But we’re baking brownies and everything is fine.”
“Noooo.”
“Jacob, Matt’s at work. He can’t come home right now.”
“I can come,” Matt said. “Just give me a few minutes. I’m heading outside right now.”
“That’s really not necessary…”
