I drew closer to the fire. The smell of burning wood reminded me of my husband. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath of him. Tonight everything just hurt.
My phone buzzed.
I opened my eyes and stared down at a text from Tanner: “Are you okay?”
I took a deep breath of the burning fire. Tanner understood. And even though he wouldn’t talk to me about the woman he’d lost, he knew exactly how I’d be feeling tonight. He knew I needed this check in. I texted him back: “It hurts the most when Matt’s not here.”
“I told you grief is easier when you’re surrounded by love.”
He had told me that. I stared down at his words. And he was right. Of course he was. I’d tried to tell myself that I could do thison my own. But I didn’t want to drown in my grief. Not again. I remembered feeling like a shadow of myself when I’d moved to California. I didn’t want that. I just wanted to be…me.
My phone buzzed again. “And even though Matt’s busy right now, there are other people that love you in this city. Open the door when you hear a knock.”
I lowered my eyebrows. What was he talking about? The only person I hung out with one on one other than Matt was Tanner. And I was pretty sure they were together right now. Maybe it was Nigel? But Nigel wouldn’t knock. He’d walked right in this morning while I was baking.
I jumped when there was a knock on the door.
Jacob came running down the stairs. “Is Abuelo here to play with me? He’s the best to play knights with.”
I laughed. Yeah…because Tanner actually let Jacob hit him with his sticks for some reason. “I’m not sure. Let’s see who it is.”
I peered out the blinds to get a look. I was still a little on edge in this city. My dad might appear at any moment and try to steal my liver or something. Or Poppy might pop up with a bomb.
But it wasn’t some sinister presence. Penny was standing there with a bottle of wine and Scarlett. And a few people I didn’t recognize - another woman, a little girl, and a little boy. Or maybe I did recognize the other woman. I think she’d been at the homecoming game. But that day was a little blurry.
I knew Penny was close to Matt. And she was James’ wife. I wanted to get to know her better. Really, I wanted to thank her for taking care of the Untouchables when I couldn’t. Because I knew she had. And I knew just how much work that was. They were all impossible.
“Scarlett!” Jacob yelled. He ran to the door and threw it open.
“Hey, Jacob!” Scarlett walked into the house and pointed to the other kids. “This is Sophie and Axel. They can be your friends too.”
“Okay,” Jacob said. I thought he’d be nervous, but he looked so excited to have more playmates. “Can we play cowboys and Indians?”
Well, that explained it. That was much more fun with more people. And we’d always played everything just the three of us.
“Can I be a cowboy?” asked the little boy.
Jacob nodded.
“Where are the guns?”
Jacob didn’t have any toy guns. We’d lived a really simple life at the lake house. We used sticks as swords. And we just made finger guns for our pistols.
Jacob lifted his hand, not at all embarrassed that he didn’t have some fancy toy gun. “Pew.”
The boy smiled and lifted both his hands.
Scarlett screamed and grabbed Jacob’s arm. They ducked for cover behind the couch.
The other little girl looked up at me. “Can I have one of those?” She pointed to the cupcakes on the counter. “But only if the icing is chocolate. And the cupcake is vanilla. And no sprinkles. I’ll have them on the side if I have to, but I don’t really like them.”
I laughed. Because it was the most ridiculous request and also kind of the cutest thing ever. “I think I have just what you’re looking for.” I grabbed one of the cupcakes that fit her descriptive list.
Her eyes beamed.
“Sophie!” Scarlett yelled. “You need to be a cowboy with Axel!”
“Coming!” She ran into the family room carrying her special order cupcake.
